You may have recently noticed that you’re now able to Facebook stalk your ex’s new, blonder girlfriend on your way to class without losing internet connection. Thanks to new renovations, the University has installed WiFi boosters in all of the posting pillars in the Diag to encourage spending time outside. However, upon further investigation, it was found that the WiFi stations are actually pits to hell.
If you’re brave enough to peer inside, you’ll see the remains of freshmen surrounded by failed Blue Book exams and unopened condoms. Terrifying sounds pour out of the pillar, screams claiming, “I didn’t mean to step on it!” and “I was trying to take a snap of Reggie!” The true horror though is the smell. It’s something like unwashed sheets and musty shower Crocs, typical scent of a freshman.
Oh Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame: