An Accurate U of M Fight Song

author-pic at University of Minnesota  

Welcome back to school, Gophers. It’s football season now, and that means you damn well should know the words to your own school’s fight song. If you don’t, you’ll most likely end up having to fake it ‘til you make it and mouth the words “watermelon” or “rhubarb” or “I’m a piece of shit” in hopes no one notices your pathetic school spirit.

Have no fear, if you can’t remember the lyrics to the Minnesota Rouser, we have them below. 

Current Version of the “Minnesota Rouser”:
Minnesota, Hats off to thee!
To thy colors, true we shall ever be,
Firm and strong, united are we.
Rah! Rah! Rah! for Ski-U-Mah,
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah for the U of M.
[Repeat]
M – I – N – N – E – S – O – T – A!
Minnesota! Minnesota! Yeaaaaaaah Gophers!

But, if you really want to impress your peers, you’ll learn and sing the exclusive (and more accurate) version of the Minnesota Rouser. 

The Real Version of the “Minnesota Rouser”:
Minnesota, shoes on a tree!
Brutalist buildings, bland as they’ll ever be,
Cold and hungry, with no mon-ey,
Rah! Rah! Rah! for a victory chant that’s a little off!
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah for the U of M.
(But not to be confused with U of Michigan!)
[Repeat]
M – I – N – E – S – O – T – A
WAIT!!!!
WE FORGOT ANOTHER N!
SPELL IT AGAIN!
M – I – N – N – E – S – O – T – A
Minnesota! Minnesota! Yeaaaaaah this state has one too many syllables!

And there you have it, Gophers. This new and improved version sure seems to understand the Minnesotan struggle. Seriously, can someone take out a syllable in the word “Minnesota”? It’s just not working with the Rouser’s rhythm.