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Bartender of the Week: John from Blarney’s

 

Name: John

Bar: Blarney’s

Relationship Status: In a 1 Year and 7 Month relationship with a female named Michelle

Major: Kinesiology

Favorite Drink: Shot of Patron

Favorite Shot: John seemed to have jumped the gun on this question

Disgusting Drink: Rumplemintz (and yes, if you order Rumplemintz from Blarney’s and John serves you, he is judging you so hard on the inside).

What would you make for someone stuck in Minneapolis for spring break?:

A shot of Patron Margarita to wash away their sorrows.

What do you think is most different between bartending at Blarney’s and bartending in Cancun?:

A lot less drunk college kids, maybe, maybe not though. Probably the weather.

Which is the best drinking game for spring break? Why?:

Slip and slide type deal mixed with like a beer pong situation.

Together, John and I decided that this would go along the lines of sliding down a slip and slide and having to make your beer pong shot while still in motion on the slip and slide. Feel free to try our idea out and let us know if we have invented the next big drinking game.

If you got arrested on spring break, what would you want it to be for?:

I don’t get arrested that often…I try to keep it to a minimum of three times a week. If I were to get arrested it would probably be due to over intoxication, maybe public indecency, things of that nature.

How many beers do you need in ya before you’re peein’ the pool?:

15.

Johns co-worker: Really? I’d say zero.

Would you rather hook up with 2 5’s on spring break, or 1 10?:

One 10.

What’s the least it would cost to flash your stuff?:

Probably like $100.

Which type of shark best represents your sex life? Why?:

I showed John the Google search results for “Types of Sharks” and he picked one called Wobbegong, “because like maybe the name sounds funny, and like maybe kinda cool too.”

Some light research on said shark will reveal that this bottom feeding carpet shark, is generally a lazy ass mf, but attacks its prey by ambush when hunger strikes. Every college students sex drive is relatable to the lifestyle of the Wobbegong.

Why should people read The Black Sheep?

If what you’re telling me is true and it’s a kind of funny satirical kind of newspaper than that’s exactly why people should be reading it because everyone takes life too seriously.

 

 

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