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PJ Fleck Calls to Western Michigan Players Actually Just Butt-Dials

The U of M football team avoided a near disaster after discovering PJ Fleck may have contacted Western Michigan players in regards to recruitment, an illegal move under NCAA regulations. After a quick and painless investigation, the U of M found that PJ Fleck had just accidentally butt-dialed 3 Western Michigan players.

This information comes just a day after Western Michigan revealed they believed Coach Fleck had contacted players without their permission.

“I saw a football player talking on their phone on the way to class, I could totally tell it was PJ Fleck on the other end because of my hearing super powers!” Kalamazoo resident Sam Junker said as he shuffled his Yu-Gi-Oh! cards and wheelied off to class. Western cited many other sources, such as news outlet MichiganTru News, who cited a mime, who mimed a telephone call and gopher in a box as basis for investigating PJ Fleck’s phone records.

When The Black Sheep tried to reach Fleck for comment, his phone line was busy. However, President Kaler was available for comment and confessed, “I’m so glad Coach Fleck just left those players 4-minute voice-mails of muffled pocket static. It would’ve caused a real debacle, and we’ve had enough of those for one school year.”

UMN students are equally as relieved. “I’m so glad Coach Fleck isn’t bringing bad press to the U before he even coaches his first game. I mean, the student section hasn’t even been able to yell ‘FLECK YA’ yet,” Mitch Kinsley, a UMN student and die hard gopher football fan said, shivering in his gopheralls and no shirt.

Even with the football drama defused, Fleck has still gotten his fair share fair of criticism over his relationships with former players. Tracy Claeys took to twitter and sent out, “At least I knew which numbers to keep on speed dial, and which ones not to! #ByeFelicia.”

“Fleck simply butt-dialed some players, and Western Michigan got their jock straps in a bunch. It’s not our fault PJ is onto bigger and better things,” AD Mark Coyle said. “We can all rest easy now. Fleck is here to stay. Plus, we’ve got some great new recruits for next year!”



WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.



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