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Drinking Game: The UMN Commencement Speech

Although it’s temporarily exciting to be graduating, reality is about to hit you like a brick wall full of debt and adult responsibilities. Don’t worry, this drinking game will help keep those thoughts at bay and get out with one last drunken bang.

 

What You’ll Need: A commencement speaker who is painfully optimistic, attentive listening skills, and the cheapest bottles of champagne you can find (because this is a very special day, but you are still broke as all hell).

 

Number of Players: At least 2

 

Level of Intoxication: “My dreams are smashed and so am I.”

 

How to Play: Each player has their own bottle of champagne from which they drink when dictated by the gameplay.

 

Take a Drink When:
-The commencement speaker makes a horrible joke, and no one laughs.
-Someone receives a Facebook message from a friend of parent congratulating them on their graduation.
-The commencement speaker makes a sweeping statement about the future.
-Someone witnesses another graduate wearing impractical shoes that cause them to trip as they walk down the aisle.
-Someone sees their parents crying.
-After each drink, players must clink all of the bottles together and yell, “I’m not scared of my future! I’m an ADULT!” in fancy British accents.
-All players serve as judges and monitor whether each player drinks when required.

 

The Game Ends When: Either from crying or laughing, tears are streaming down your face.

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