Top 6 Places to Take Your Broke Ass This Spring Break

author-pic at University of Minnesota  

You’re in college. You’re broke – you subsist on a diet of ramen and peanut butter, steal silverware from restaurants, and consider throwing yourself in front of moving vehicles so you won’t have to pay back your mounting debt. If you can’t get your parents to pay for a trip to somewhere exotic for spring break, you’re not going anywhere. Worry no more – The Black Sheep has a list of ideas for spring break escapades if you’re too poor to leave the country.

6.) Someone’s Backyard:
Do you like camping? Want to backpack in the Ozarks but have nothing but dust in your bank account? Fear not – you can have a genuine camping experience very close to home, right in your parent’s/family friend’s/some random adult you know’s backyard. Set up your tent and enjoy the sound of your neighbors arguing incessantly and revel in the smells of sewage and dog shit. Just be sure to bring a warm sleeping bag; it is Minnesota, after all.

5.) Food Court at MOA:
Why travel the world when you can get every unique flavor right here in Minnesota? From Benihana to Margaritaville to Rainforest Café, MOA offers a discounted taste of the world! Sure, the sushi was made by a white kid, and animatronic parrots aren’t the same as being attacked by their territorial, living counterparts in a real, humid rainforest, but it’ll do if you only have enough money for a light rail ticket and two twenties in your wallet.

4.) Comstock Hall Basement:
Built in 1940, Comshit is older than the dawn of time. It has plenty of leaky pipes in the basement, but that just gives the building character! In fact, there’s so much water on the floor in the basement you can take a couple buckets of sand and dump ‘em in there to create your very own beach. You’ll have to be creative with what you use to emulate the sun, but that’s the fun part!

3.) Eddy Hall:
Some weird couples do that freaky shit where they road trip and visit haunted houses, graveyards, and all matter of demented ghost fuckery. You don’t have to create an unnecessarily elaborate route with spots to hit up on your spring break – just hang out at Eddy. Decrepit, musty, and ancient, it’s the perfect spot to camp out in to get your fix of spooky house aesthetic.

2.) Canada:
Also known as Greater Minnesota, Canada is your home away from home, just with more bears and the metric system. Enjoy the same friendly people, but with thicker accents. There will be no judgement if you travel there and decide to stick around indefinitely – we don’t blame you.

1.) Wisconsin:
For those who crave an out-of-the-ordinary experience but can’t go too far, Wisconsin will surely suffice. This foreign land may be considered enemy territory, but it is rife with adventure in the form of cheap beer and the ruins of a dignified public school system. If you end up there, somehow, be sure you have a ride back – no one wants to be stranded in Wisconsin.

You too can make your spring break memorable with meager money, and you don’t have to sit next to weirdos on a plane or get vaccinated! With a little inspiration, you can have as much fun as Chad did in Playa del Carmen…minus the sunburn.

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