From nursing a belligerent hangover to finding new ways to procrastinate your Spanish homework, we’ve all wanted to find a quiet spot on campus to catch some Zs. The size and density of the U can make it hard to find a place that fits the strict nap criteria including foot-traffic placement, cleanliness, available room, food perks, low noise level, comfortable seating, and low probability of getting your shit stolen. If you’re having difficulty finding a sleep sanctuary, here are 7 places that will serve you well on the Minneapolis campus (Saint Paul campus is such an excitement desert, you could sleep in the middle of the road undisturbed, so rest easy Paulies).
7.) Bruininks Hall general area:
Bruininks may rank last on this power list, but it does boast a ton of room and a sweet variety of chair types for heavy-duty sleeping. Problem is, it’s not out-of-the-way enough to be super confident in either the noise department nor the theft department. Thanks, One-Stop. If you’re able to catch a spot on the off-hours, say before 10 a.m. and after 4 p.m. the lowest and uppermost levels are still prime and relatively safe.
6.) Folwell Hall study spaces:
Like a slightly better Bruininks Hall in terms of noise/theft, but with much less space during high-traffic times. With only one or two tiny study spaces in the entire building open to the public, spots get filled up pretty quick by people who have caught on to these prime spots. If you’re lucky enough to snag a spot, you can’t go wrong here.
5.) Wise Owl Café in the basement of Walter Library:
While it takes a small downgrade in chair comfort scores compared to Bruininks and Folwell, Wise Owl does sport a very low murmur noise (better for sleeping than dead silence), great security, and perhaps most importantly the Café itself. Mellowing out with a hot chocolate, tea, or your favorite low-energy, coffee drink is excellent before and after naptime; just watch for occasional noise spikes during lunch and dinner rush.
4.) Moos Tower dining space by the basement Freshii:
By all rights, this shouldn’t be as good a nap place as it is, given its size and purpose as a dining space. Yet anytime outside of the 12-2 lunch rush, this place is almost completely empty, and it’s cavernous enough that you can find the quiet corner and sleep for hours. Again, extra points for having multiple food choices nearby to help facilitate napping, whether it’s the Freshii or the Starbucks closer to the Washington Avenue entrance.
3.) The Whole in Coffman Memorial basement:
Another shocker, as Coffman is the most crowded, annoying place on campus. Despite this, there’s this small bubble of calm deep within it. With all denizens of the Whole making a subconscious agreement upon entering to facilitate a near-perfect environment for napping with a low volume level, spacious, varied seating and, if you’re lucky, couches that aren’t complete shit. Kept down only by a somewhat low anti-theft score and having weird hours for public use, changing seemingly at random.
2.) Northrop Auditorium fourth-floor alcove:
Yes, there’s a fourth-floor of Northrop. Northrop as a whole is a great nap spot, but there’s a special place in our hearts for the fourth-floor alcove. It’s almost like a mystery space only a few people know about; despite having the fewest places to actually sit on the whole list, there’s never been a problem getting a spot on those delightfully soft couches. Just don’t all go at once and ruin it for the rest of us, okay? Its tiny size is the only thing holding it away from our number one pick…
1.) The entire Wilson Library:
Didn’t think we’d forget about West Bank, did you? West Bank already has some of that St. Paul campus isolation going for it, and libraries are inherently quiet and clean. Put those two together and you have the best noise level, the best space, Academic Blend Café in the basement, high security, great seating variety and quality; it’s the gold-standard for nap spaces on this campus. It’s almost like Wilson tailors each of its floors to different classes of nappers, with first floor having that great murmur and seating, basement with the café, and each floor above the first getting progressively quieter to suit that taste. 10/10, would nap again.
Ranked from ‘aight for a cat nap’ to full blown ‘sleep sanctuary’ we take this shit seriously. Naptime’s not a joking man’s game and only spots that are pristine for Zs made the cut. Sleep on.
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