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Top 8 Laptop Stickers to Help You Get Laid at Walter

You’ve seen a cutie across the dimly lit study area of Walter several times, but due to extreme silence, you have no way to make the first move and possible scoop some digits. Fear no more! You can attract the attention of your crush by using an appropriate combination of strategically placed stickers on the back of your laptop to catch your crush’s attention. We’ve done the research for you and assembled a fool-proof guide of which stickers will do the trick of landing you a first date with your study bae. 

8.) Radio K:


Bring some rock ‘n roll to your painfully barren Macbook with this sticker reppin’ UMN’s very own “real college radio” station, Radio K. Only the coolest of cool kids care enough about local culture to be somehow involved with Radio K. If you fall under the category of alt-college kids who have broken their own cool-o meters by partaking in the creation of university broadcasting, you have earned the right to broadcast your alternative hobbies on your laptop, your water bottle, and most likely the bottom of your skateboard as well. Anyone looking for a date filled with cups of fair trade coffee and underground tunes will surely tighten the laces on their vans, re-cuff their jeans, and walk your way at the sight of your Radio K sticker.

7.) Sorority Letters:


Throw what you know right onto the back of your laptop to make sure any potential suitors know that unless they’re also living the Greek life, they probably don’t stand a chance with you. If perchance any fraternity brothers happen to see your letters at the library, they can then begin to analyze the complex web of sorority politics in order to decide if they would ever actually be able to take you out. If you fail in your attempt to score a date to the next formal via laptop stickers, the patterns of those letters are still low key beautiful and everyone is probably secretly jealous they’re not part of something with such snazzy promo products. 

6.) Big-Ass Maroon and Gold M:


Are you really fucking proud to be a gopher?? Slap this U of M decal on your laptop to clarify that, beyond the fact that you are on campus, you do in fact attend the University of Minnesota. This sticker is the easiest way to create common ground with your library crush. “Hey you go to The U? Me too.” There ya go, a million things to talk about right away. Your first date will be at the most romantic spot on campus, the Weisman, and you will get married in Northrop. Then you will come back and hold your kids up during Circle of Life at the homecoming game. Ski-U-Mah, lovebirds.

5.) Patagonia Minnesota Sticker:


Are you searching for someone to explore the vast expanse of nature that is the state of Minnesota? Use this sticker as a calling signal to find a cutie to take hiking over the weekend. Displaying this brand on your personal belongings lets the public know that you either really like warm jackets, or you genuinely enjoy spending your free time doing outdoors shit. Either way, putting this Patty-G sticker on your computer will help you find a match who shares one or both of those interests. 

4.) Vineyard Vines:


If this tiny whale wasn’t enough to communicate your love for upper middle class American culture, maybe the American flag pattern will clear up any doubts. This sticker will be effective in attracting a mate who is down to pursue a right-wing lifestyle and collect extensive amounts of clothes that portray this image, particularly a certain style of shoe made for boating. But you’ll have to finish your Econ Major at Carlson first so you can inherit your father’s company and buy you and your library crush more tiny whale products.  

3.) Minnesota State Outline:


You are from Minnesota, and you need your state pride to shine. As a true Minnesotan, you’re in the market for someone also born and raised to be Minnesota Nice to you. This sticker will show any suitors that you are honored to be from the coolest and coldest state in the Northern Midwest and probably want to live here for the rest of your life, and into the afterlife. You and your MN sweetheart have one big thing in common and it’s that you have both lived in the same state, which seem like enough shared ground on which to grow a lifelong relationship. 

2.) Minnesota Wild Sticker:


Reppin’ your favorite sports team is always a good way to start conversations, but lucky for the Wild fans out there, MN’s hockey team is actually doing super well this season. Displaying your loyalty to the Wild will be an easy way to get your library crush to at least high five you after a big win for the Wild. If you’re lucky, they’re not just a bandwagon fan and will actually be able to sustain a conversation about the team. Maybe they will even accompany you on a date to Excel to root on the commonality that brought you two together.  

1.) Lil Yachty


Lil Yachty, the red-braided artist known, at least in this state, for his hit song “Cold Like Minnesota”. Minnesotans love anything that mentions their name even in the slightest, so this man is basically a state hero. You listened to his song, and maybe can name a few other tracks on his album, but mostly you just really excited hearing your state’s name in melody. This sticker will attract those who are also familiar with B-List rap music, which is a pretty cool crowd. If you’re looking to ice out your laptop back, this sticker is the one you want. 

 

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