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The UMN Wreck Your Lecture Drinking Game

Need to be sedated to endure being surrounded by 300 other people during the torture method known as “lecture?” Perhaps reading the words “lecture” and “drinking” in the same sentence seems like it could lead to some bad ideas, but trust us when we say it’s worth it. Make getting through lecture more fun and exciting with what The Black Sheep calls the Wreck your Lecture drinking game.

What You’ll Need:
One-half to two bottles (depending on personal tolerance and amount of players) of preferred alcohol, something fruity to wash down the pain of binge drinking, and someone to chaperone you out of the building and to your home.

Level of Inebriation:
Fricken’ inebriated bro.

Number of players:
At least 4, since drinking in the daylight is always less sad when done with others.

How to Play:
-Save this drinking game for your large lectures as to not draw attention to your public intoxication. Ideal lectures take place in Keller Hall, Smith 100 (o-chem is about alcohol anyway), and Willey 125 or 175.
-The rules are simple and based on annoying events that seem to happen in a large lecture no matter what the class. The more annoying incidents that occur, the drunker you’ll get to help you cope with your emotions.
-The game rules for when to drink are broken up into stages of the lecture, progressing from buzzed in the beginning of lecture, to sufficiently intoxicated at the end for days when you really just can’t take a droning professor any longer.

Stage 1:
This stage is designed to give you a nice buzz and an enjoyable lecture!
You’re about to enter a large lecture hall, dreadfully sober, and to handle having to sit next to your peers, take a quick shot before entering. Upon lecture beginning, scan the below list and drink accordingly:

-Somebody has to crawl over you to get to a seat- drink up. If it’s in Smith Hall drink again, as the passerby probably had to stick their ass in your lap.
-Person next to you tries to strike up a conversation about the professor’s RatemyProfessor score before lecture begins- sit down, drank.
-Eavesdropping freshman wearing Keen shoes pops in on the conversation in hopes of making a study buddy- fuck man, drink.
-Someone walks in late with Starbucks (obviously they thought the Coffman line wouldn’t be slow)-have some alcohol!
-The professor tells a mediocre joke and is so relatable. Maybe he/she even swears!- consume your beverage.
-The class half-ass laughs at said joke- sip sip!

By now you’re definitely feeling a buzz and the professor dives into multivariable calculus or the philosophical question of, “Do ideas matter?” You could spend the rest of the lecture giggling if your gender studies prof says “sex” or continue to play. If you feel you can’t handle the brown nosing kids who raise their hands every 10 minutes or the actual contents of your lecture, remember your handle of tequila and continue to stage 2.

Stage 2:
This stage is designed to get you drunk enough to not remember this horrible experience.

-Every time a student asks a pointless question to suck up to the professor- shot baby!
-Every time a student tries to correct the professor- drain that shot glass!
-Had to bring something from a course packet that still isn’t available in the bookstore?- if you ain’t gettin’ drunk get tf out the club (lecture hall)!!
-If you run into someone as you head out of lecture and one of you says, “Ope sorry!”- passive aggressively, DRINK!

Now that your degree of intoxication is just about as high as Moos tower, pull yourself together enough to not sleep it off in your lecture. You win the game if you are able to walk up the lecture hall steps without tripping. Cheers to back to school Gophs! Please drink responsibly, as in only in those shitty lectures.

 

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