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4 Weirdos We Encountered During Our 5 Hours in Ellis Library

A mecca of procrastination and caffeine-fueled exam cramming is the epitome of Ellis Library. Every student in Ellis is too absorbed in their computer screens (Netflix or otherwise) to look around at the oddities that call this place home. We here at The Black Sheep took the liberty of creeping around the library for a day (five hours to be exact). Here are some of the things we encountered on our trip…

4.) The socks and sandals combo dude:
Ladies and gentlemen of Mizzou, though college may be tiring and you’re barely functional after three cups of coffee, there are specific environments where socks and sandals are socially acceptable. Here’s a clue–the library is not one of them. This fashion atrocity is accepted if you’re a dad grilling for his backyard barbeque on the Fourth of July. Are you a dad who took a break from grilling to brush up on your chemistry before the big exam? Yea, we didn’t think so. Otherwise, please save this eyeball scalding combo for those late-night stoned runs to the Mizzou Market instead.

3.) The serial napper:
Napping in Ellis Library is nothing new. We all hope that after those twenty minutes of shut-eye our essay will magically write itself. However, napping in Ellis for an entire 5 hours is an entirely different level of procrastination. We’re not sure if this guy deserves a medal or a blanket. But seriously, 5 hours. FIVE HOURS! At that point, just go home.

2.) The guy carrying his books in his bike helmet:
This guy wandered the library, backpack-less, with his books stored safely in his bike helmet. Here’s the issue: where do you put your books when you put on the helmet to ride your fucking bike? In your pants? At first glance, this seems like an interesting way to save some money by not purchasing a backpack. However, we quickly came to realize Mizzou has claimed another victim in the wake of mid-terms.

1.) The guy tripping in the middle of the afternoon:
At first, we thought this guy was in a rush. He burst through the doors and briskly walked to the opposite end of the room. Then he proceeded to stare at paintings behind glass for a good ten minutes while shaking and muttering nonsense to himself. He then spun around and practically ran down the stairs. We quickly figured out that he was on a whole different level than anyone else in the library (and we couldn’t help but be a little jealous). Looks like someone got lost on their way to the rave.

Well, this seems to be the worst that Ellis can offer. Next time you’re sitting there, bored, in the library lift your head up. Who knows what sort of weird things you might see? All we know is, it’s got to be better than whatever you’re studying.

 

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