In case you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard that the Chicago Cubs finally broke their 108- year curse and won the World Series, and it’s about damn time. It’s been over a century since the Cubs have won a World Series, and if the obnoxious attitudes of Cubs fans last week were any indication, this championship celebration will go on for just as long (ugh). Here is a little message to Cubs fans: We, as in non-Chicago Mizzou students, are TIRED of hearing about the World Series and here are 6 reasons why, brought to you by The Black Sheep staff:
6.) There are teams with more impressive records:
The Cardinals have better records than the Cubs. The Cardinals have won 11 World Series. The World Series Champions flag for the Cardinals looks so spiffy and important, while the Cubs World Series Champions flag looks pathetic. There are three dates on the Cub flag, and the last big win was 108 YEARS AGO. After sucking for over a century, it’s normal to be excited. But still, we’ll bring you down a notch when you need to be brought down.
5.) Cubs fans and their egos:
Excuse us, but who said you could just bust in and act like you own the place? What exactly do you have to be cocky about? Oh that’s right, nothing. “Poor Cards fans, too bad they aren’t as good as us.” Ummmm, you just won your first World Series in over 100 years, and you owe it all to Theo Epstein. Come back when you have something more impressive than 3 World Series wins since 1907. Buh-bye now.
4.) “You can’t sit with us” – Cardinals:
Just because you won this World Series and it breaks some kind of losing streak, doesn’t mean we are friends. You are still inferior and only won because you actually had some good players. After 2017, at least 3 of your 5 star players will be gone, what will you be then?
3.) Cubs aren’t the only sports team in Chicago:
It wouldn’t be as annoying to hear about if there weren’t other (and better) sports teams in the city. Chicago didn’t actually have a “108-year drought” because the White Sox won in 2005 and the Blackhawks won the Stanley cup in 2010, 2013, and 2015. Come on, don’t play the victim here, if you had a well put together team all those years, you wouldn’t be the joke of baseball.
2.) You think Chicago is the best city EVER:
People from Chicago think the city they came from is the G R E A T E S T thing to ever happen to the world. A LOT OF YOU PROBABLY AREN’T EVEN FROM THE CITY. You probably live 30 minutes away in some suburb. Are you a real Chicagoan if you don’t even live IN the city? We don’t have to ~be from Chicago~ to know the answer to that.
1.) Some of your friends couldn’t care less:
WE GET IT. OKAY. The Cubbies finally won something, blah blah blah. Honestly, go talk to someone else about it because quite frankly, there are some friends that just don’t give a shit and want to punch you in the face. You continuing to talk about the World Series is the equivalent to nails on a chalkboard and it needs to stop, like, yesterday. Woo hoo… now get out of our faces.
Congratulations to the Chicago Cubs on finally not being the joke of the season. But seriously, you can stop with your excessive celebration now. Next season be ready to have your asses handed to you again.
Sincerely, I’m salty my team didn’t win so leave me alone.