In case you didn’t pay attention to your Summer Welcome Leader, one of Mizzou’s most notable alumni happens to be Brad Pitt. Although people love mentioning his name among some of the greats who walked through CoMo, he didn’t actually graduate, he finished one credit hour short of earning his degree. If Mr. Smith ever returned to The Zou to earn his degree, here are some disciplines he’d definitely be interested in.
6.) Biomedical Science:
How could he not try this class out? Meeting once a week in a lab to look at germs under a microscope sounds pretty easy compared to fighting off millions of zombies and finding a cure for that same pandemic. This class would have come in handy in World War Z.
5.) Criminal Law:
Man, he straight up stole millions of dollars in Ocean’s Eleven, Ocean’s Twelve, and Ocean’s Thirteen, and didn’t even get caught. Not only that, but the man was a detective alongside Morgan Freeman in Se7en. Not a day would go by where he walks into class and someone yelled at him, “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?” If he can gross over $1,500,000,000 in those four movies alone, then Brad Pitt is more than qualified to spend a semester learning about the laws in the good state of Missouri.
If Brad Pitt can start Fight Club, then is there anything he can’t do?
3.) German History:
You already know that the class gets to watch Inglorious Bastards for the first week of class. The second week of class, best believe the professor is putting on Fury. If Brad Pitt loves making movies about fighting Nazis, he’ll probably get his next movie idea from this course.
2.) Human Development:
He really just owes it to his classmates to let them know how in the hell it’s possible to age backwards, considering he knows something about it from his time in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Also, he’s fucking old now and still hot as shit, we could all learn from his ways.
That is, he would take this course if Mizzou didn’t already offer him a teaching position for this course. You’re telling me Brad Pitt can explain the whole housing crash of 2008 in the two and a half hours of The Big Short? Yet, it takes Dr. Podgursky three weeks to go over the same content?
Brad Pitt might be a little too grown for the college life. The Hollywood lifestyle he’s grown accustomed to is probably going to leave him taking a one-hour, weekly online course that he can do from his house in Beverly Hills (like Microsoft proficiency). Although it would be sick to hit Field House or Harpo’s with Brad Pitt, it seems that as of now, you’re going to have to enjoy Mizzou with your lame friends for the rest of your four short years here.