If you happen to be a business student at Mizzou, then you are probably aware that you need PDP points. As a sophomore, you need about 70 to apply to your upper-level classes for the next semester, and need about 200 to graduate. And just like your advisor told you, you obviously didn’t put off getting all these points until the last couple of weeks before you need them, right? Right?? Well not to worry, because we at The Black Sheep have come up with a few ways for you to get the points you need without having to explain to your parents that the reason you won’t graduate on time is because you didn’t go see a couple of speakers.
4.) Beg at Speaker’s Circle:
Head on over to Speaker’s Circle, get a piece of cardboard, and write, “Will work for PDP points.” It may be demeaning, but asking people if they can spare some points for you means that the only thing standing between you and graduating is your own pride.
3.) Rob students of theirs:
If they don’t give them to you, just take them! Pick pocketing PDP points is a little challenging: you got to sneak up behind someone quietly, reach into their backpack, pull out their laptop, ask them to log into their myZou, and then transfer the points over to… oh. Since there isn’t a transfer button, you might just need to steal their identity, paw print, their account, and eventually graduate with their points.
2.) Plan a heist:
Get a solid crew with a tech guy and getaway driver, and plan a heist of Cornell Hall. According to every Mission Impossible movie, there is probably some big vault in Cornell Hall where they store all of the PDP points. You will probably have to dodge security and red laser security beams in order to do this, but this is definitely easier than going to a lecture on time management or some shit.
1.) Sell your body parts:
According to the dark web, you could probably get at least 30 PDP points for one of your kidneys on the black market. And that’s why the body has two of those things—sell both of your kidneys, and your only 140 points shy of graduating!
Of course, if none of these seem like your cup of tea, you could sign up for some of the last remaining events the business school has left for the end of the year. If you’re a nerd that is! Nobody wants to do an online quiz that takes 45 minutes about strengths and weaknesses, so get your black ski masks, grappling hooks, and glass cutters ready, because Cornell Hall isn’t safe these last couple of weeks from burglary!