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6 Places All Mizzou White Girls Take Their Graduation Photos

Shit, it’s graduation this weekend?! You get out of class and to your left, a whole photoshoot is going on. Mizzou white girls are back at it again with the same hand on hip pose or blowing fucking confetti around like it’s your 16th birthday. They seem to revert to their childish ways when their supposed to be “adulting” now… but that doesn’t surprise anyone. Here are where they’ll be taking their grad photos this next week. 

6.) The Columns:
If you haven’t taken a professional picture next to, within, or in front of the columns, did you really graduate from Mizzou?

5.) Jesse Hall:
This is the exact spot where ladies go to get that famous quad shot. The stairs are (definitely not) heel friendly, even though 90% of the shots won’t even have their feet in them. It’s like confetti vomited all over the grass this time of year. 

4.) Traditions Plaza:
This area is the prime spot where ladies can feel like the center of attention: the flowers, the stage, the lengthy steps to accentuate her waist. Hopping around, giggling, and kicking their pale shaven legs like a toddler told they are going to Disneyland. Aren’t you supposed to be graduating Becky? Sit your ass down and try to look sophisticated.

3.) On the Tiger:
This location says “For the 18th time our mascot is a tiger, and isn’t he so cute?” The fountain makes for nice scenery, but we are all still dying to see these young ladies fall in — it’s “tradition.” Not sure why it’s desirable to swat the bees that claim this territory, but it’s all worth it for that perfect grad photo.

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2.) The J-school Arch:
As if journalism major didn’t get enough attention already. Plus, why would would white girls take photos in that ugly archway with those weird tigers that look like they are waiting for a decent hand on knees pose so they can look under their skirt. It is the exact place where you wouldn’t want to joke with your photographer about last night’s shenanigans before finals because the chancellor might hear you and flunk you. Still, caucasian females leap at the chance to be shot on the most talked-about place on campus.

1.) Brady Fountain:
Please just don’t swim in it and act like this is some wet t-shirt contest because, honey, it ain’t. White girls can be seen wearing ridiculously thought-out ensembles, changing their wardrobe three times when no one will see it come actual graduation day. They may be shooting champagne bottles at the camera, but in reality they just look like 4 year olds trying to work a new toy. Seriously, why go through so much effort anyway when a better picture can be formed with an iPhone 8, the sun, and a smile?

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