It’s that time of year Tigers…that awful, incessant, never-ending point in the semester where going home to see mommy doesn’t seem so bad after all. Finals are nearing, grade points are lost and teachers put up the “take-no-shit” wall from students like us who just need those few points to get that A (at least that’s what we told mom), er…uh we mean pass. But the one thing we hold true to ourselves is our beloved spots of choice where we procrastinate, frantically email and wish we had actually gone a little bit more out of our way to look up the answers on Google. So where is your “study” spot? Well, to each their own, but The Black Sheep has a few choice words about where you choose to spend most of your time during finals week.
Are you a lower-level student center kind of student?
We know you better than you think wise guy, and it’s that you don’t actually have your head in your books. Yeah, that’s right, you’re probably face down on one of the couches gasping for breath while you catch your last zzz’s before failing. Hey, maybe you’ll get lucky and not even make it to your finals?
Do you find yourself on the 3rd floor of Memorial Union often?
The views are where it’s at for sure, but you can’t spend all your time gazing out the window wishing you were anywhere but on this mump-infested campus. Well you can, but then you’d probably write in every answer with your long-lost (never going to happen) fairy tale. Get a life man!
Is your ass parked outside on a bench in the frigid cold?
Dude, we get you don’t like anyone, but come on? November weather has finally set in and it’s 35 degrees outside, oh and snowing now. As nice and quiet as it seems on your secluded little bench, it’s probably not a good idea if you hadn’t planned on hypothermia keeping you from your finals.
Still in your dorm room after all this time hating your roommate?
Let’s be real, we know the real reason why you’re hiding out is because you’d rather get swept away by rom-coms all night instead of forcing yourself to actually buckle down (cry a little), and attempt to pass this last exam. Stop making poor life decisions for once and get to work!
You’re not at bae’s house are you…really?
You know better than that; we all do. Get your shit together! Lying on the couch cuddling, eating Hot Box Cookies and Ben & Jerry’s, or Netflix and Chillin’ is the last thing you need to be doing after an entire semester of it. You had your time, now put that $20,000 to good use and make it look like you learned something.
Are you hiding out in Bookmark Café, at least while it’s open?
If you’re not still pissed about Ellis closing early, then you’re probably sipping on coffee and being studious in the Bookmark, but are you really? Not everyone can take their “runny” coffee and still manage to get work done while making appearances in the bathroom every 30 minutes. If you can, then props to you.
There’s not much The Black Sheep can do to change your mind about your incredibly unproductive choice of study spot; but if we didn’t make you realize you’re in for a lot more work than you originally planned for, then go ahead and take the F now. Of course we’re all friends here and we only wish you the best, but the rest is up to you guys. May the horribly stacked odds, be ever in your favor.