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How to Tell if Someone’s in Mizzou Greek Life Based on Their Halloween Costume

The Greeks, a community serving as a staple in Mizzou culture, are supplying a constant flow of glitter, booze, and tailgates. However, Halloween is when the Greek community really shines. Even though they painstakingly removed their letters for a night to dress up in costumes, they’re not fooling anyone, we know who you are. The Black Sheep has done the honors of finding the few criteria to tell if someone is in Mizzou Greek life based on their Halloween costume: 

4.) The costume is basic: pussy cat, Victoria’s Secret Angel, or slutty school girl:
We get it, the college life is a busy life. Creativity is sucked away by the many exams, papers, projects, and that last unnecessary shot of tequila. This leaves no room for the average sorority girl to expand her mind past the basic options. Like a frat boy on homecoming, these costumes are fast and easy. It’s basically a scientific fact that 99.9% of sorority girls will flock to the bars dressed as one of these three. Keep a lookout for them, they travel in packs so you can’t miss them!

3.) A dude wearing a sport’s team jersey:
This is the male version of a basic costume, but, in a way, it’s worse. Halloween is a holiday for costumes. You want to know what a costume isn’t? A costume isn’t something you wear every day. Let us repeat–A JERSEY IS NOT A COSTUME. Listen boys, we understand you’re swamped in booze and tired of striking out with kitty-cat number 1 and 2. Somehow, everyone else found the time to order cheap little strips of fabric from Amazon that only cover the essentials for Halloween costumes, and it worked out fine. Join the club! Please use whatever sliver of creativity you have left after homecoming’s disastrous pomping to come up with an actual costume. This needs to be addressed and improved immediately.

2.) The friend wore it the night before:
Does that slutty devil across the bar look familiar, but you just can’t place where you saw her? You probably saw her sorority sister wear the exact same costume in an Instagram post last night. Halloween is expensive AF. When it comes to the Greek community, they’ve already purchased approximately 1,000 other articles of clothing for date parties, socials, tailgates, and everything in between. Honestly, this is a smart move. After all, it saves more money to blow on booze.

1.) No one can tell what they even are by the end of the night:
If there’s one thing the Greek community knows how to do, it’s party. Unfortunately, some things suffer from this “talent.” The first thing to go is the Halloween costume. Did this person arrive to the party as Barbie? But leaving they look like Barbie had a run in with scissors? Did this person walk into the bar as a cute, cuddly pumpkin? Crawling out it appears like they were the most recent victim of pumpkin smashers? Look for those stumbling out of bars and parties with smeared makeup, frizzed hair, and outfits adorned in splashes of vodka-cranberries. They are impossible to miss, and if you’re sober for Hallo-weekend (why though?) it’s a pretty good laugh.

Lucky for you, we have imparted our wisdom upon you near-like zombies, now go forth and scout out the Greeks on Halloween. Look for them stumbling out of bars. Look for them puking on the corner. Find the Greeks, laugh at them, and then cry because you’re not as drunk as them.

 

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