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8 Things That Will Trigger on Edge Mizzou Students

Whether it’s waking up on the wrong side of the bed, or just not the day, there is a moment in every Mizzou student’s life where they are just at the edge, and then *poof*… the server at Southwest gets a little skimpy with your plate and you just lose it! The day-to-day foolery that just grinds our gears at Mizzou has no end, but there are a few things that will trigger on edge Mizzou students once and for all. 

8.) When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat in Conservation:
When a lecture hall is already full—especially when you’re less than five minutes late of your usual time—it can be pretty aggravating. What is more aggravating than that? Trying to make your own makeshift seat out of the side ridges on the wall because there is no where else to sit. Looks like a skip-day, better luck next time.

7.) The stereotype that all AG kids are farmers:
Not all AG kids are farmers. Period. Gah!

6.) People who cut the line at Late Night:
A group of bros respectfully take their place at the back of the line. Then all of sudden, Brad sees that one guy who let him borrow a pencil in his science class. He signals for his friends to follow him as he proceeds to pass you and the eight other people standing in front of you that have been waiting 15 minutes just to get some wings. Someone should dap Brad in the head, and tell him to wait like the rest of us. We are all broke hungry college kids, and we all respect the no-cutsies rule (sometimes).

5.) Saying that everyone is either from STL, Chicago, or Kansas City:
Seriously, we come from other places. 

4.) People never stopping at the crosswalks:
The saying, “Hit me please, pay for this tuition” becomes a pretty catchy tune, until you are behind the wheel and come into contact with students outside of the Student Center who forget that half the drivers can not even pay their own tuition. Bruh, this car was supposed to help you get places, but now not only will you be 10 minutes late to class, you might catch a case. You will hear yourself saying, “If one more asshole jumps in front of my car, I will run them over.. I promise,” but you won’t. You can’t afford it.

3.) People in Speaker’s Circle handing out shit:
Unless it’s free food then we don’t want to hear it, Sally. No one runs to class but we have all been late before, which means no one has time to take your scrap shit of paper.

2.) Obnoxious people who don’t grab their buzzers immediately when they go off in The Shack:
Anyone else in this line will gladly take all of our meals for you because clearly these ungrateful kids don’t want them. It’s sickening to hear a table buzz for an entire minute. If God wanted tables to buzz, he would have given them antennas and the power to pollinate. No sir, no ma’am…pick up your shit and keep it going.

1.) The bitch who doesn’t know her order in the line at Starbucks in Memorial:
It’s bad enough that the line was outside of the door to begin with, and now it’s almost your time to order. The only thing standing in your way is a girl in a Patagonia sweater and Chacos going, “Uhh, hmm, let me think…What do I want?” *Taps foot* *Taps foot* BITCH! You had nearly 15 minutes to think about what you wanted in line, and this is not your first time here. If you don’t slide yo ass over while a competent person who knows their stuff proceeds to order, we’re gonna have some issues. 

If you don’t vibe with at least one of these irritants then you have got some massive patience…and we commend you!


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