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Report: Your RA Never Smelled a Thing

Residential assistants admitted this week that although they knew you were probably toking a big fat blunt in your dorm room all along, your RA never smelled a thing thanks to the simple yet effective used paper towel roll, covered with one-to-two scented dryer sheets and secured with a rubber band.

“We’re completely at a loss,” said one RA. “I saw Chad and his friends carrying up backpacks to their dorm a few weeks back—I knew there was weed in there, I knew it—but he must’ve constructed a sploof because I couldn’t smell a damn thing.” 

Though sploofs seem to be very effective, securing other illicit substances seems to have its challenges, the RA said. 

“Sploof me once, shame on me,” the RA said. “Hide liquor in an inconspicuous water bottle, shame on you.”  

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