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‘Well, There Goes My Bracket,’ Says 96% of Fans Half-Heartedly

“Well, there goes my bracket,” said 96% of of March Madness pool participants half-heartedly on Thursday afternoon, not even four games into the 2018 NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament. 

After watching the first three minutes of the University of Tennessee square against Wright State, self-proclaimed bracketologist and part-time UTK student Robbie Eckman said that he, among other things, “completely fucked himself and his cousins by picking Tennessee.”

“Well, there goes my bracket,” Eckman said, pointing to the a 2-0 lead by Tennessee in the first 1:30 of play. “I put hours and hours into deciding this game, watched games all throughout the season, and, in the flash of an eye, it’s gone. You can never expect the Vols to go far in the tournament.” 

Even after Tennessee took a commanding 54-35 lead in the second half, Eckman shook his head and pointed to another screen, where the University of Rhode Island was playing Oklahoma. 

“Well, there goes my bracket—again,” Eckman said. “You pick Oklahoma to win one game, and, just like that, they disappoint. Not surprised, really.”

Elsewhere, college basketball fans gave into the half-hearted mantra. 

As #16-seed Penn took an early 19-11 lead over #1-seed Kansas, KU senior Claire Terney was visibly shaken. 

“There goes my bracket,” Terney said. “You come to learn as a Jayhawks fan to not get so attached. Then, you see this shit–a No. 1 seed going probably going down to a 16-seed for the first time ever–and you wonder why you did this shit in the first place.”

As the day continued, reports said that nearly 80% of fans were later seen saying, “There’s always next year,” or “Well, they don’t call it March Madness for nothing.”  

 

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