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9 Gestures the Arts Everywhere Pianos Would Prefer to You Playing Them

To put it short: The Arts Everywhere pianos are tired of being played. The pianos, all 10 of them, say that they have more purpose in life than just allowing students to show off their “artsy side.” This is The Black Sheep asking nicely for you to take some initiative and do something about it.

9.) Ask the piano if it’s doing okay:
Considering how many greasy fingers are up on that thing everyday, it likely is not.

8.) Take the piano for a ride:
The pianos can’t remember the last time they were taken out. They wonder why the bike share system even exists. They have wheels for a reason. It’s called Chapel Hill for a reason. There is a nice, convenient slope beside the UL. You know what to do. But do not hit Joann the crossing guard.

7.) Send the piano that “u up?” text:
Most people don’t like that text, but the pianos will love it. It’s a simple message, but will let the piano know you care just enough to keep them wanting more.

6.) Tell the piano some jokes:
Mental health is important. The pianos know this. The pianos like jokes. Try this: When Mozart died was he a decomposer? The piano will laugh. The piano will know.

5.) Tell the pianos they are beautiful:
The way each one is painted is careful and deliberate. They obviously don’t want their unique body art to go unnoticed. Do all 10 of them look the same? No.

4.) Make sure they know they are more than just their looks:
That being said, you don’t want to come off as superficial. They are all painted differently for a reason. They’re unique. Let them know you love their personalities too.

3.) Cook the piano something to eat:
The piano probably would like some Italian food. Although it cannot eat, piano will still appreciate the gesture.

2.) Call out the pianos for loitering on school property:
They’ve been there for what, over a week now— seems like years. Tell them to go get a job. They’re lazy as hell. They need some motivation. They will appreciate this little push.

1.) Flex on the pianos for a picture so they can gain IG likes:
Get on top and just start flexing. Those music minors have shown off enough. Just because you don’t know what A Sharp is doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to shine. This is a liberal arts university; IG models deserve attention too. And the pianos will be happy to be featured on your gram; tag them @arteverywherepiano. However, if you don’t have at least 1k followers, don’t bother. The piano doesn’t want to be seen on some lame, unpopular account. Respect the piano’s wishes.

Not only does Arts Everywhere promote playing just one or two of the pianos. They want you to play them all. The lack of courtesy towards these sensitive creatures is insubordinate and churlish. Show them you care and partake in one of the above activities. The pianos will thank you.

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