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Tar Heels Drunkenly Garbage Bag Sled to Celebrate Annual Snow Day

Following the yearly tradition of cancelling class for 3 inches of snow your father would have walked in, uphill, both ways fort the opportunity you have, many UNC students have been spotted drunkenly sledding on garbage bags across campus.

“Dude, like, so I got the text or whatever last night and I was like…in my car headed to the ABC before I even had my pants on,” senior Mark Fulbright noted. “It was pretty weird checking out, but Natty waits for no man. I woke up at 8a.m. today to polish off the last six before I hit the slopes!”

The “slopes” are, of course, Paul Hardin Hill, between north and south campus.

“My ass is going to be so, so bruised tomorrow,” Kevin Borgon admitted, “but this garbage bag is like, multi-use, ya know? Toss a couple of cold ones in to sip on between runs down Hardin, carry ‘em over, stash ‘em in a snow bank, then you’re bumping your way down the hill in no time.”

Weather advisory also suggests classes may be cancelled Thursday.

“Oh man, I’m way too drunk to drive,” Borgon sighs, “How am I gonna restock for tomorrow? Think if I get all the way to the top of the hill my momentum will carry me to the Harris Teeter?”

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