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What Your ONYEN Says About You

UNC is a big school, but if there’s anything we all have in common, it’s the notorious ONYEN. Whether you sound it out letter by letter, or say it the same way you do the many-layered vegetable, you use your ONYEN every day of your life. You may not have known it at the time, but when you created your ONYEN long before coming to UNC, you were setting how you would be seen by your peers for the next four years of your life. So, what do they see? Chances are, there’s more that can be told from an ONYEN than you might realize.

 

7.) It uses your whole middle name:

College has been your chance for a fresh start. In coming here, you left your unsavory past behind. At long last, you’ve had the chance to reinvent yourself, in a place where nobody would know about that time you threw up in the cafeteria, the infamous fanfiction you wrote in high school, or the arson conviction that you just narrowly avoided. At UNC, the world is your oyster. That is, until you start running into people from your high school everywhere you go.

 

6.) It uses numbers:

You are a hardcore nihilist. Life is meaningless, and we’re all just flesh and bone, wandering aimlessly about the Earth until death. Your name might as well be a serial number, and why should you pretend otherwise?

5.) It uses a nickname:

You came to UNC desperately clinging to days past. Why must we grow up?! You were doing just fine with your old friends, living with the comfort of knowing that your parents would provide you with every meal. Laundry is complicated, and being constantly surrounded by people you don’t know is overwhelming. Fear not though, child; once you find your place somewhere, you embrace it head-on. Then you’re set until your next major life transition.

 

4.) It uses a name and an initial:

You are a robot. You live your life in fear that your friends will discover this most terrible secret. You still can’t believe that you’ve managed to guess all of those letters on all of the “I am not a robot” tests you’ve had to face over the years, but you know that any day you could be outed, and lose the human identity that you have worked so hard for.

 

3.) It uses an assortment of letters that means nothing to everyone but you:

Everyone knows that you live life on the edge, but what they don’t know is just how close you are to snapping. You are a troubled genius, trapped in the menial world of public university, and no one, no one, understands your pain. But they will. Someday, you will make them understand.

 

2.) It uses a word that has nothing to do with your name:

You just like to screw around, don’t you? Life’s a game that you’re not too concerned about winning. You probably have a weird hat you always wear, and some really wacky glasses. You wouldn’t be opposed to breaking out in song in the middle of the quad, whether you’re musically-inclined or not. People know your face around campus, and you like it that way.

1.) It uses just one name, first or last:

You are an unstoppable presence. Who needs two names? Not you. You walk into a room, and everyone shuts up. You wear a lot of ripped jeans and leather, but for some reason, on you it makes sense. Some people want you, some want to be you, but none of them will ever succeed.

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