Ladies and gents, Twitter has officially picked a side. Our favorite social media entity has made one small adjustment that will forever change the way us good right-wing-Jesus-loving-anti-political-correctness folk see social media. Just weeks before Easter, our second favorite holiday of the year, Twitter demolished the once-beloved egg icon, and replaced it with the silhouette of a… *chokes back tears* genderless person.
Let’s just come out and say what we all know to be true: liberal Twitter removed the egg from our profiles because they hate Jesus.
The Twitter egg was once a symbol for Easter and the good old-fashioned holiday spirit. It was an icon. It represented everything us good Americans stood for, like harassing random people online and begging celebrities to follow us back. But the liberals just couldn’t let us be happy.
So to you all we present a solution: #BoycottTwitter.
Tweet it, post it, get it trending. We want the world to know that we won’t stand for this War on Easter and we are taking back this great holiday. Jesus died for our sins, and if Twitter wants to slap Jesus in the face, Jesus can slap Twitter back twice as hard!
The movement is already gaining a lot of traction. Here’s what some of our supporters are saying:
Soon, #BoycottTwitter will be trending nationally on Twitter!
Oh yeah, and another thing. This is obviously a ploy to target good, honest, religious folk who don’t want their faces shown on their online profiles for privacy reasons. Well, you know who else doesn’t want to show their faces online? ISIS.
You’re enabling ISIS.
Aren’t you liberals all about “safe spaces” anyway? Well Twitter used to be OUR safe space. It was a space where we didn’t have to show our faces. A space where we could insult and harass without fear of consequences. A space where we could just block anyone whose opinion was different from ours.
But no. Once again, the PC agenda has won. The road to hell is paved with liberals, and at this rate, we’re all headed there pretty soon. #BoycottTwitter #HappyEASTER #LiberalsKilledJesus