Most NAU students who don’t have a campus parking permit want to die—and understandably so. If you do park in a permit-required lot without a permit prepare to be towed or ticketed, cause it’s definitely going to happen. But, there are definite ways to cheat the system—and if you want to know where to park without getting into trouble, just read on.
5.) At the Cemetery Near Campus:
There is plenty of space filled with grass and headstones for you to park your car in the cemetery. Just be careful when you’re driving through the headstones, and try and avoid parking on any bodies. Just make sure the ghosts of poorly-behaved students don’t come out and haunt you for a shitty parking job.
4.) On Top of the Walkup Skydome:
First of all, if you figure out how to park your car on top of a building, you shouldn’t even be in college because you’re a fucking genius. Might as well drop out now because you’re already smarter than the average American. Absolutely no one will want to give you a ticket, nor will they know how to even reach you. Well done, kid.
3.) Inside the Union:
This one’s for the innovative thinkers. Just have some friends swipe you and your car in, and pull it into the open space. College students are so oblivious, hardly anyone will notice your Chevy Silverado and will just continue stuffing their faces.
2.) Outside the Engineering Building:
Make it look like this is just a vehicle used for the engineering majors to operate on. After all, they do know what they’re doing, and if your car is experiencing any issues then they may even be able to fix it for you. Just leave a note on it that says, “For the engineer students” and walk away with pride.
1.) Up Rita Cheng’s Ass:
This is the perfect parking spot, and no one will give you a ticket—guaranteed. It’s definitely a tight squeeze—so this parking space itself is pretty limited. As an added bonus, you could really do some major ass-kissing this way, too. And hey, it’s a safe place away from the snow.
If you’re willing to get creative with your parking habits, then do you really even go to NAU?