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5 Places to Avoid Homelessness After Cheng Kicked You off Campus

 

Rita Cheng has done it again; her massive acceptance rate has finally forced Northern Arizona University students out of house and home. With the news of all upperclassmen being kicked off of NAU’s campus in the coming year, to help combat the growth of Flagstaff’s homeless population here is a carefully compiled list of semi-suitable housing options.

 

5.) The forest:

Embrace the true Lumberjack spirit and take to the woods. The forest provides everything a student could need; branches and rock formations can be easily turned in to lovely loft apartments. Plus all of the squirrels will become your best friends when you slowly but surely lose your mind from living off of pine sap and mushrooms.

 

4.) A tent:

A more luxurious alternative to living in a cave you made yourself from rocks and pine needles, use the money you would have on your rent for McKay and splurge on a real nice pop-up tent. It’ll be a prolonged camping trip, so don’t forget your long underwear and thick socks. Because if you do, frostbite will take your toes the way Rita took your nice cozy bed.

 

3.) A studio apartment:

Sure, this one might seem like the most practical and logical of all options, but the only way that studio apartment is going to be affordable on a FAFSA budget is if you split it with five other people. Quick tip: as furnishings are a thing of the on campus housing past, milk crates can be very versatile—closet, chest of drawers, bed frame, even a TV if you’re living with electrical engineers and can find some copper wire.

 

2.) A box:

Pick up a great deal from the US Postal Service on a flat rate box. It’s lightweight and completely mobile, which is perfect for the student on the go. The best part is you can fit four people and cat comfortably in one of the bigger boxes.

 

1.) Mom’s house:

Let’s just face it, the cost of living in Flagstaff is too high, so this will force a lot of students to drop out of school and move home. The bad news is that tuition at NAU put your family so far into debt that you’ll still be eating ramen noodles when you get there—but at least you don’t have to sleep on a twin bed anymore.

 

With this new rule coming in to effect housing prices will probably get even higher, and your will to live is bound to shrink.  Just remember, at the end of the day the more creative you are the less homeless you will feel. The Black Sheep hope that this list  helps to ease the transition between a cramped but reasonably priced on campus room and the unforgiving world of twelve month leases and utilities not included.

 

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