Louie the Lumberjack’s Origin Story
Louis James Montegoue, was born February 19th, 1944 in Ciudad Falsa, New Mexico, to father, Julio Boolio, illegal Mexican immigrant, and his mother, Kathy Montegoue, white woman from Tennessee. Unfortunately, his mother passed from childhood obesity in 1950, leaving him and his father all alone in Tennessee.
From a young age, Louie found his niche cutting down trees for the family business; turning him into the strapping young man we all know and love today.
At the age of 18, his father was attacked by wild flock of chickens, leaving him paralyzed from the lower lip down. His only way to communicate from then on was by quivering his upper lip.
Louie then had to take on the family business, running it smoothly until 1968, when a young business man, who had just received a small loan of a million dollars from his father, bought out the land the Louie’s business operated on, effectively closing them down.
Later that year, Louie’s father was once again attacked by the chicken, this time killing him. Alone and without a job, Louie hitchhiked from Tennessee to Flagstaff, Arizona.
During his first 36 hours in Flagstaff, Louie got high 16 times on 9 different illegal substances. This caused him to have many psychedelic revelations and epiphanies. Louie realized that he wanted to help people by using his axe skills. He spent his days wandering through Flagstaff hoping to find a job that would accommodate his wishes, and his nights stripping at the now closed Woodies Nude-Bar in Flagstaff, (much like many a college student does.) Just when he was about to give up, he stumbled upon of shitty little school called Northern Arizona University.
Unsure of how this would work out, Louie began as janitor. Then in 1971 NAU’s then mascot Danny the Dinosaur was arrested on a DUI, hit and run, reckless endangerment, possession of an illegal firearm, possession of a controlled substance, kidnapping, attempted murder, jay-walking, and calling the university president out on their bullshit.
Once Louie discovered the position had opened up, he began to consider it. Until one night in a dream, his father came to him. Inspired he told his son, “AHHH somebody get these chicken’s off me! AHH oh GOD WHY!!” Louie then knew he has found his true calling. The following day Louie applied for the job and the rest is history.
Many debate on what the moral of this story is. Some say that it’s “never give up on your dreams,” others claim, “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” The Black Sheep know that the true moral of story is “drugs can solve all your problems.”
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