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Senior at Newfs Whispers ‘You Know, I’m Not Really Happy at All’ to His Own Drink

Joseph Romano was enjoying a night out last Friday night at the one and only Newfs when he was suddenly struck with a thought. He was dancing with his friends, when he “felt [himself] disassociate from [his] body.” He claims he was having a good time, but it seems reality caught up to him.

Romano, who is set to start as a management consultant at Bain & Company in the fall, says he was screaming the lyrics to Chance the Rapper’s “No Problem,” when all of the sudden, he did not feel like rapping Lil Wayne’s part, which is something that he always does. The senior double majoring in Finance and Economics claims he “is usually a super fun guy to hang out with,” but on Friday, he was just not in the mood.

“All those sad feelings, which I usually just ignore, just came flying right back up,” Romano reflected. “It was like 1:30 a.m., and I felt my brain leave my body and just examine my surroundings. I was frozen. My friends all kept dancing but I stopped, looked at my drink, and told my drink, ‘You know, I’m not that happy.’ It was the most reflective I have ever been,” Romano said, tearing up. “And my friends didn’t even notice.”

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“I guess I pretend to have my life together. You know, I’ll work for Bain, move to Lincoln Park with my girlfriend and friends and begin college 2.0. It was going to be great, but I guess I have to face myself first,” Romano proclaimed. “Maybe I’ll take up pottery, I really liked my ceramics class I completed for my fine arts requirement.”

When asked his friends how they all felt about graduating, most responded with jubilation, but when asked how they really felt, most of Romano’s friends felt the same. They mostly claimed their sadness was about leaving this place and moving on, but in general, most people are just sad. “I mean just check Twitter these days. We’re all depressed,”  Romano added.

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