Connect with us
Connect with us


NYU Freshman Spends NYE Exhausting Friends and Family About Missing “Real Home”


NYU freshman Abby “City Slicker” Myers spent New Year’s Eve with her tight-knit group of friends from high school and her loving family in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. While many of her friends were happy to be home ringing in the new year with the people they love, Myers had some mixed feelings.

“It’s not that I’m like, not happy to be here or something,” Myers said, taking a long drag from a cigarette. “I like everyone here, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that – stuff is so much bigger and more spectacular in New York City, you know?” She hacked loudly on the smoke.

Myers re-applied her dark red lipstick in the mirror and pursed her lips. She adjusted her ripped NYU crop top and sighed.

“No one here gets it. The Christmas tree at home was pretty and whatever, but it was no Rockefeller Center tree, right? And my mom baked 2017-themed cupcakes for tonight, but they’re not even close to the Magnolia Bakery cupcakes. It’s just like, kind of sad.”

Myers’ best friend from high school, Micaela Robbins was also present at the New Year’s party.

“Is Abby still whining?” she asked, rolling her eyes in amusement. “The girl has lived in New York for half a second! All she talks about is Washington Square Park this and sushi burritos that. It’s getting out of hand.”

Myers’ mother, Anna Myers was also concerned about her daughter’s behavior.

“I just don’t know what to do with her,” Mrs. Myers said, wringing her hands. “I put up pictures of Alec Baldwin, I bought Starbucks-brand k-cups, I even bought her a tiny replica subway car from a little store I saw in Times Square. I can’t seem to get her out of her funk.”

Robbins further added, “The first three weeks of school all she did was talk about New York style pizza and New York style bagels. I get it Abby, the pizza and bagels are good! Get over it! Don’t you have homework to do?”

Myers spent the remainder of the evening sighing loudly, rolling her eyes at her father’s Packers references and talking about Artichoke Basille’s pizza.


Continue Reading

More from NYU

To Top