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NYU To Offer New Course: ‘What The Fuck Is Steinhardt?’

Starting next year, NYU Steinhardt will introduce a new orientation course to help acclimate its students to their new lives. While most orientations introduce students to the ins-and-outs of classroom culture, how to use the library, and when its socially acceptable to start missing their parents, What Is Steinhardt is different.

Polling shows that 81.3% of NYU’s student body (including Steinhardt) proved unable to answer the following question: “What the hell is NYU Steinhardt”? In a futile bid to rectify this, the school hopes to arm students with the facts to inform their peers.

“It may seem confusing and convoluted now,” says Steinhardt advisor, Josie Longbark. “But, at the end of the day, it’s an investment to ensure clarity for our current students, their families, and future prospects. We believe the NYU community needs to know about food studies just as much as they know about Stern finance.”

The new orientation will offer meaningful and impactful lessons, including: So CAS Rejected You, Huh?; How to Casually Remind Your Friends That The Music Program Is Not Tisch; What Is A Steinhardt Meme, and Why They Matter; and How To Justify $70 Thousand Tuition For A $50 Thousand Teaching Job. Early trials netted mostly positive feedback, citing feelings of both validation and pride.

Freshman Lance Banner, one of the participants in the trials said, “You know, this is the first time I felt like I could proudly tell someone I’m in Steinhardt. When people ask other students about their degrees, they say ‘Oh I’m in Tisch,’ or ‘I go to Stern.’” Banner tears up and begins choking on his words. “I just want to say ‘I go to Steinhardt’ and have that mean something. I have to explain that social studies education is not in CAS every day. I’m tired of it. Steinhardt was the first education school in the country, damn it! We are sixth in the nation!”

Steinhardt might be the Jeb Bush of the NYU community, but that’s okay. Steinhardt students can rest easy knowing that, at the very least, they do not make up a major (or is it concentration?) like in Gallatin.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.

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