With two weeks left in the semester and commencement looming on the horizon, NYU senior Ashley Morgen decided to move to Iceland to avoid becoming an adult.
The Black Sheep caught up with Morgen as she was trying to hail a cab to JFK. Morgen credited her massive decision to her lack of job offers and the sadness of having to leave NYC to go back home to her 7 siblings and various farm animals.
“I just can’t go back to my small town,” Morgen lamented, while failing to hail a cab. “I’ve just become such a New Yorker…but I can’t even afford to eat dollar pizza anymore.”
Morgen plans on moving to Vik, Iceland, which has a population of 291. She plans on living the rest of her life as a waitress, trying to forget that she almost lost a kidney to pay for her BA in the Science of Happiness.
“The only thing I’ve learned in my four years was how to meditate, and that sleep was the most important thing ever,” Morgen explained, after finally catching the cab. “I pretty much slept my college life away,” she screamed from the window as the cab almost hit another pedestrian.
While Morgen seems to have it all figured out, her closest NYU friend, Olivia Stanley knows she will come crawling back.
“Ashley is just trying to have one last wild-child hurrah before she needs to become an adult,” Stanley mumbled as she put the finishing touches on her 15th cover letter of the day. “She’s having some kind of mid-life crisis, but she’s only 22.”
The Black Sheep caught up with Morgen via international call to see how she was acclimating to Icelandic culture.
“I never want to come back!” she exclaimed. “Sure it’s cold, but no one is bothering me about jobs, debt or boozy brunch. It’s like a paradise. See ya never, America!”
Morgen plans on staying in Vik for the rest of her life, avoiding all of her past responsibilities (except during the holidays).
Like booze before noon? So do these guys…