Student Confused By Lack Of Construction Near Weinstein

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As anyone who’s ever decided to make the treacherous journey from their respective dormitory to the ever-mysterious world down University Place will tell you, the scaffolding that precariously hangs above the heads of passersby near Weinstein is as important a landmark to this city as dollar pizza, or overly-touchy homeless men. As such, it came as a shock to many when they were removed this past week with the construction down the stretch finally being completed.

“I honestly don’t know what they’re thinking” says Gallatin senior Kevin Cinnamon. “Would you remove the torch from Lady Liberty? Would you fill the hole in the Washington Square Arch? Would you freshen the air in a subway cart so it doesn’t constantly smell like dried urine? No, you wouldn’t, and it’s because in New York we respect tradition. Or at least, I thought we did.”

Indeed, many students who live in and around the area are expressing their displeasure with the construction finally being completed, with some unfavorably invoking the seizes of gentrification the city went through in the early 90s.

At a protest in Washington Square Park on Monday (that was briefly a boy band, then a Shakespeare in the Park troupe, and then finally back to a protest group), activist and #KeepOnBuildingNYC” founder Annabelle Vandertramps fumed under the spotlight, proselytizing her rebuilding sermon for the crowds of tens that appeared.

“Construction that actually gets finished isn’t the city I know! Efficient Construction is just a synonym for Municipal Destruction!”

Others didn’t have quite as vitriolic of a response to the completion of the renovations, but still admitted to a being a bit miffed at the change. According to Tisch freshman Matthew Gorgonzola, the removal of the scaffolding presents a huge problem for student navigation.

“I could always tell I was going the right way to any of my classes in the Washington Square area when I saw that scaffolding trapping the smoke from the students vaping barely two feet away from it. Now, the fumes are free to escape to the ether of the twilight sky, no longer acting as my personal map. I think it’s hugely inconsiderate on their part for finishing so soon.”

Luckily, it’s not all doom and gloom on the construction front, as it appears that literally every single other construction project is fully booked to continue until at least the mid-3000s.

Like booze before noon? So do these guys…