The 5 Best Drunk Food Spots in Columbus, Ohio

author-pic at Ohio State University  

The only thing better than a cracking open a cold one with the boys is the greasy food that will inevitably follow. Columbus has many things to brag about, and the number of places to grab drunchies is definitely one of them. Some of the best meals you will never (or more likely, will) forget can be consumed at any of these top notch greasy spoons.

5.) Cuco’s Taco Truck:
The only thing better than eating food while sitting down is eating food while standing. Cuco’s Taco Truck takes the best of the restaurant, Cuco’s Taqueria, on the road. The tacos come at a cheap enough price that you can afford queso, another case of Busch Lite from the nearest gas station, and some Tums for the horrible acid reflux flare you’ll be having the next morning. Usually, the truck is parked right across from the best dive bars in the area, saving you time and an extra five dollars that would otherwise be used on your Uber through a drive thru.

4.) Hound Dog’s Pizza:
This hot spot combines good beer along with great pizza, a match surpassed only by JT Barrett and Urban Meyer. If you and your crew are looking for a fun night out, slide into a booth and enjoy pitchers of beer and far too many of pizza. But, if you’re more interested in getting wasted without putting pants on, fear not because Hound Dogs will come to you. In addition to the delicious pizza, there’s also cheese fries, which are amazing while sober, but infinitely better when drunk.

3.) White Castle:
Regardless of the quality of other fast food joints, White Castle is local to Columbus, and there’s a certain loyalty felt between the slider and Columbus natives. The stench of grease will undoubtedly permeate the already stagnant air inside your mom’s minivan before you even hit the parking lot, which should mask the smell of stale beer enough so that she doesn’t question your risky journey across town. If miniature burgers smothered in onions aren’t your thing, try the clam strips, which are certain to give you something to blame your hangover on other than the number of shots you had.

2.) Steak ‘n Shake:
While this chain isn’t local or even originally from Columbus, Steak ‘n Shake is still wildly popular in Columbus. While it’s usually reserved for small children and parents during the day, nighttime brings a different sort of crowd. The burgers are the perfect balance between greasy and inedible, the fries are crispy, and the milkshakes are thicc. Most of the time the bill comes to less than six dollars, perfect for ballin’ on a budget. The number one reason to stop in, however, is because of Theo, the ridiculously charismatic waiter that is definitely still waiting on a long overdue raise. He’s nice, funny, and never questions how drunk you are, even when you stopped by during high school and could barely pass for 18, let alone 21.

1.) TeeJayes:
Arguably one of the best-worst diners in central Ohio, TeeJayes is the perfect destination for breakfast food at three in the morning when everything else is closed. Although it is not recommended to enter this establishment sober and during the light of day, a thick alcohol blanket makes the sticky tabletops and matted carpet seem downright homey. The waitresses all do such a flawless impression of a concerned grandmother, you might even forget that you aren’t related.

Nobody in Columbus is a stranger to a late night out drinking. A bite to eat at any of these local hotspots is sure to help ease your Columbus hangover the next morning.