Independence is pure bliss, but sometimes we get a little carried away and definitely can understand some hardships of living alone. It’s all fun and games until you’re knee deep in Julia Child’s The Joy of Cooking looking for gourmet recipes. Boeuf bourguignon, bitch. But, shit you’ve run out of the groceries your parents bought you, and all you have left is a smelly onion. Here are some ideas of what to make when your fridge is this sad.
5.) French onion soup:
For this you’ll need one whole onion and a cup of water. First boil the water, place the onion in, then you basically you just wait. Pretty soon you’ll have delicious onion water that’ll cook down in no time. For a classic French onion soup taste, you can use a piece of white bread as your little crouton. That is, if you can find one.
4.) Onion rings:
You can put a personal touch on this fan favorite. Since you probably don’t have the basic ingredients lying around to actually fry these onions, simply cut the onions into rings and snack on them raw. They may not be crispy, but at least the illusion is there. If you’re really desperate for a crispy fried onion ring, well too bad.
3.) Just eat the fucking onion:
If you aren’t in the mood to have your hair smell like onions for a whole day after unleashing their hard to miss aroma, just bite into it like an apple. If you need some inspiration to eat a raw onion like a fruit, watch the Holes scene see how Shia LaBeouf.
2.) Onion sandwich:
No deli meats? No problem. Some people like extra onions on their sandwich, but others may be interested in their sandwich just being onions. Since we already determined you don’t have any bread, you’d have to get the closest thing: paper towels. It’s just just as absorbent as Wonder Bread, and sticks to your mouth just as easily. Condiments are encouraged, but doesn’t sound like you have any of those.
If you’re not really that hungry, you can always juice your onion. Juicing vegetables is so healthy, and this drink might just be the tangy thing you’re looking for. Let’s be real though, this might be the best thing to do because drinking onion juice is definitely disgusting enough to motivate you to go to the grocery and at least buy, like, an apple.
Being independent is very important, but something more crucial is surviving. The next time you think about buying that handle, go with the fifth and for God’s sakes, FEED YOURSELF!
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