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5 OSU Café Menu Items That Need to be Pumpkin Spice Flavored ASAP

Fall is finally upon us, and even though it’s still hot as hell, the only thing basic girls care about are their Bean boots and pumpkin spice-flavored everythings. In celebration of the fall every basic girl craves, The Black Sheep has a few suggestions to “spice” up the café menus across Ohio State’s campus to make them pumpkin spice ASAP (PSASAP™): 

5.) Pumpkin spice fish tacos:
So you’ve just started going to the RPAC so you can get gainz, but you wanna pair your healthy living with a healthy diet. Apparently, eating fish is the key to good nutrition, diet, and becoming God himself, but fish is nasty and you’re the picky eater who eats Cane’s everyday. To mask the taste of the fish stank, inject the pumpkin spice into the gills of the fish in order make it edible. Voila, bone apple teeth.

4.) Pumpkin spice vomit:
All you need for this five-star meal is the abovementioned pumpkin spice fish tacos. You’re bound to throw up by the time it’s all said and done. The good news is that your vomit will have the wonderful flavor that is pumpkin spice when it’s coming back up. Even if you don’t “sweat glitter,” you’ll be able to claim that you vomit pumpkin spice. Folks, it doesn’t get much better than that.


3.) Pumpkin spice tears:
Midterms are coming up fast and a lot of tears are bound to be shed by anyone and everyone. Instead of sulking,  mix those tears with some yummy pumpkin spice and drink on up. And, the best thing about this fun and dramatic drink with a twist, is that it can also be consumed pre-midterm failure! All you have to do is make the rando next to you uncomfortable while you cry at your seat that you somehow scored at Thompson, and head down to Berry to get your shot of pumpkin spice. There’s nothing like drinking salt water that tastes like pumpkin spice—especially when you’re on the go!

2.) Pumpkin spice crab cakes:
Back to seafood! Just because you’re working out doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to a little fall-flavored seafood fancy gourmet dish at the RPAC. Though your soul is called to the beach in the form of a mermaid, your blood runs true with the pumpkin spice of the Midwest. You’ll not only satisfy the white girl pumpkin spice tooth, but you’ll also feel good about eating healthier than normal.

1.) Pumpkin spice (raw):
Honestly, we think that the best way to get your fill of pumpkin spice this season is to consume it straight at the corner of 14th and High. Think of it like taking a shot. Something this tasty surely doesn’t require a vessel, at least we don’t think it does, so try eating it with a spoon, sort of like the cinnamon challenge, but better and more relavent.

Whether or not you’re a basic white girl, the pumpkin spice trend is here to stay (at least until December). It’s a trend that seems like it might never go away and the next thing you know; the Unicorn Frappuccino from Starbucks is going to be pumpkin spice flavored. If you’re not hopping on this trend, you might actually be the smartest person we know.

Try our pumpkin spice podcast! 

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