5 Reasons Ohio State Is Better Than Clemson

author-pic at Ohio State University  

Here we are again. The Buckeyes have somehow staggered their way to a top 4 spot in the College Football Playoffs for the second time in the past three years, and once again, anyone who is unfortunate enough to live anywhere but the great state of Ohio seems to be doubting the ability of the Bucks to bring home another championship trophy. We here at The Black Sheep say fuck the haters, and are here to tell you why Ohio State deserves that coveted playoff spot and will always be better than stupid Clemson:

5.) They Rub A Rock For Good Luck:
Since when was caressing an inanimate object ever considered socially acceptable? Those freaks at Clemson literally “rub Howard’s rock” before every game “for good luck,” but in reality its probably just a way to cover up some weird satanic sex ritual. I mean here at OSU we do rub Thompson’s head for good luck, but he was a human with actual accomplishments so that makes it slightly less bizarre, right?

4.) Orange Is A Shitty Color:
First of all, the word doesn’t rhyme with anything so that really sucks. Not to mention that it looks atrocious when presented in any way, shape, or form. And of all colors under the sun to possibly pair it with those idiots at Clemson chose purple. Sorry Clemson, but orange is not and never will be the new black, regardless of what any pop culture Netflix series tries to tell you.

3.) Bama Doesn’t Faze Us:
The last time each of these teams squared off against Alabama one prevailed while the other ran home to cry to their mothers. We all know that ‘Bama will annihilate Washington in the Peach Bowl, and when the Bucks roll the Tigers and end up in another head to head match with The Tide, you best believe OSU will be back with a vengeance to rightfully reclaim the Natty Champ title.

2.) We Have Urban Meyer (Daddy):
Come on. The guy is a fucking grandpa now and is still hotter than any middle-aged man who has ever walked this earth. Urban Meyer is the complete package: a sexy, smart, (grand?) daddy who knows a thing or two about football. In Urban we trust.

1.) We Know How To Win The CFP:
Both teams are getting a second shot at being crowned the champion of college football, but OSU has been in first place before. We know what to expect. We know how to get shit done. Clemson blew a tie game in the championship last year, but if you refer to our last play off run it’s obvious our Bucks know how to remain calm, cool, and collected under pressure.

Keep talking shit OSU, and give stupid Clemson and the college football world even more reason to hate on and underestimate us. It’ll only make a victory that much sweeter. You know what they say, they just hate us cause they ain’t us.