5 Ways To Use The OUAB Planner You Bought (But Will Never Use)
At freshman orientation, it seemed like the only thing that could save you from the hell that is disorganization and forgetfulness would be the OUAB planner. It promised a world where you would never miss a deadline or movie night at the Union. Unfortunately, you were wrong, and your poor planner has sat at the bottom of your backpack, collecting dust and other backpack debris. Want to put it to good use? Try some of these creative tips that will put Pinterest to shame:
5.) Forget Posters — You Already Have the Perfect Wall Coverings:
Don’t give RedBubble another cent of your (or more likely your parents’) hard earned money. (Even if that Pink Floyd poster is, like, totally what’s going to make you unique). The colorful pages of the planner work perfectly to spice up the white, asylum-styled span of wall above your bed in the luxurious Morrill Tower. Bonus: you can tell the kids on your floor they’re originals by “some artist they’ve probably never heard of.”
4.) A Bookmark For Your Prettier Planner:
After you realize only freshmen carry the OUAB planner, run, don’t walk, to Barnes and Noble and buy one that doesn’t make you look like you’re as scared of college as you actually are. Instead of shelling out another dollar to buy sticky notes to keep tabs in your planner, be thrifty and tear out pieces of your old, inferior planner. Call your mom and tell her you’re still using the one she bought you, though.
3.) Cover Your Alc And Other ‘Forbidden’ Substances:
Instead of cowering in fear for random room checks by your RA (who definitely smokes more weed than you), be confident knowing that you securely wrapped your bottle of Orloff’s in the pages of your university sponsored planner. Nobody would think twice about whatever’s hiding underneath the torn pages, regardless of how much it looks like a poorly wrapped bong. Take things to the next level by covering up any puke in the shared bathrooms. I’m looking at you, Mo Town residents.
2.) Chilly Visitors? Cover Them Up With Your Planner:
Why waste space on bulky blankets in your already cramped dorm room when you can simply tell your visitors to lay still while you cover them in torn out pages? You bunked your bed for a reason, and that reason is laying a shit ton of cheap paper down on the floor like you’ve got a damn cat. You don’t have a cat, but you do have shitty friends from OU who wanna crash for a game.
1.) The Most Avant-Garde Outfit At Block:
Other than getting drunk, the main point of block is to out-do everybody else there with how ‘edgy’ your outfit is. The more bleach stains and laces, the better. DIY your own crop top and skirt combo with pages from everybody’s favorite planner. You’ll have Clothing Underground begging you to restock their shelves and Courtney from Alpha Sigma Sigma alternating between wanting to ruin you and wanting to be you.
Instead of throwing out the $15 you dutifully spent trying to get organized, take the useless planner and use it in a creative way. That way, when your mom inevitably asks if you used it, you don’t have to lie. Just stretch the truth and maybe don’t tell her you didn’t use it the way she planned.
We also hate our OUAB planners. Listen to our podcast!