Kim Jong Un to be the Face of New Viagra Campaign, “Projectile Dysfunction”

author-pic at Ohio State University  

The marketing team for the popular erectile dysfunction drug Viagra has elected Kim Jong Un to be the face of their new campaign after he just couldn’t seem to get his missile up.

The campaign, called “Projectile Dysfunction,” was inspired by events this past weekend, when North Korea whipped out their missiles for the world to see, flaunting their extraordinary size, girth and alleged power. The world stood in awe, nervous about the implication of these rockets being shoved down the media’s throats.

That is, until performance anxiety kicked in. When it was finally time to launch, Kim’s missile allegedly shot, like, 3 feet and then just kinda flopped around.

The Supreme Leader was heard saying, “Ah shit. Uh, this doesn’t usually happen,” when his limp rocket failed to launch, as thousands of people stood and watched him fiddle with it, just waiting for something — anything — to happen. “Just… just give me a minute.”

In what is obviously a giant contest to see which country has the biggest, strongest, least-disappointing-in-bed missiles, Fearless Leader Kim Jong Un dropped the balls ball.

This failure, however, made him the perfect candidate for Viagra’s new campaign.

“We want to show people that even for the biggest, best, most excellent and most honored Leader, sometimes their firearms flop,” said Director of Marketing Dick Smalls. “We aim to show consumers that with Viagra, you go from plain ol’ Beloved Father, to Supreme Daddy.”

Since then, President Trump, as well as Vladimir Putin, and Xi Jinping have reported receiving unsolicited photos of Kim Jong Un’s secret weapon. Sometimes with a little face drawn on the tip.

The campaign aims to show that even the most Beloved Leader suffers from projectile dysfunction from time to time. And now the world no longer has to wonder “what that missile do.”