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In Memoriam: Too’s Spirits Under High, 1991-2017

For two sad weeks, students have been mourning the loss of a campus icon, Too’s Spirits Under High. Known for their Tidal Wave shots, rude live musicians and famous hashtag, Too’s will go down in Ohio State history as one of the greatest dive bars on campus.

It seems like only yesterday students were flocking too Too’s on Toosdays for $1 domestic beers that were sure too keep them out of class on Wednesday mornings. Let’s face it: Too’s was the shit and tearing it down was a huge mistake on the university’s part, because they obviously had a say in the matter. 

Second-years were always anxious for their first-year friends Too get their fakes so that they could buy a bunch of Tidal Waves that were sure Too leave them wet, and every single girl that ever came inside Too’s stood in front of the stage swooning over John White at one point or another.

That’s the thing about Too’s. Somehow, down in a musty old basement with sticky floors and dirty bathrooms, it felt more like home than any dorm on campus. We know that Urban Meyer will always be our daddy, but Scott the Owner is like that cool uncle that rides a motorcycle and lets us drink beer even though we’re not 21. John White is the annoying older brother that we never wanted, but somehow got anyway who treats us like crap but loves us deep, deep down.

And the bartenders, what would we do without them? They’re our friends from middle school who stuck our hands in water when we were sleeping, except now they splash it in our faces while we’re wide awake.

Sitting at a booth in Too’s felt more comfortable than sitting on a couch in our own living room at home, and the best part was being able to write on every goddamn surface without being scolded by our parents. Between that and the beer bottle sticker wallpaper, it’s hard not Too have loved Too’s with our whole hearts.

Too’s might be gone for good after a heartwarming #SaveToos rally and twenty-Too hours of alcohol on their last day, but not only did they leave us a legacy to remember and tell our kids about, they’re survived by Three’s Above High. Three’s honors Too’s every Toosday with $1 domestics, and they’ve given John and Cody a beautiful stage to insult and serenade us on. Too booths, the pool table and the light that hung above it are proud new additions too Three’s and will be treated with the same amount of disrespect that they got at Too’s.

Nothing will be the same without Too’s, but whenever we’re feeling sad it’s okay to head to Three’s and cry while drinking a good ole forty.

Goodbye Too’s. Thank you for fucking loving us because we sure as hell fucking loved you.

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