This past week, Ohio State University officials announced a new partnership with Street Speech, a news publication written and sold by Columbus’ homeless community. The partnership will allow the Street Speech vendors, known for selling around their usual beat on High Street, to enter campus classrooms and dorm buildings to sell what is probably the best newspaper on this campus.
“We think this will be a great opportunity for students and Street Speech vendors alike,” a university official said in a press release last week, “vendors will be surrounded by the influential environment of academia, and students will be given the opportunity to earn back all the karma they lose being degenerates over the weekend on a day to day, hour to hour, almost constant basis.”
Street Speech vendors will now have the opportunity to pick out new spots to sell on campus, as opposed to their old spots immediately off campus. “I’m really excited to be selling outside of the Starbucks in the Union, it will be a nice change of pace from my old spot outside of the Starbucks on High Street,” said a Street Speech vendor on Monday.
Students can now expect to be asked to buy Street Speech newspapers almost everywhere on campus, like in the Scarlet Skyway in the RPAC, in lecture halls as vendors climb over students who’ve already gotten comfortable, and in crowded communal dorm bathrooms.
“The best part about this is that now I’ll be asked to buy a newspaper regardless of how many times I’ve already been asked,” said a 3rd year business student. “I’ll be asked when I walk into a classroom and again when I leave, no matter how many times I say no or even if I’ve said yes and show the vendor the newspaper I JUST bought from him!”
“This is an exciting time for OSU’s campus. Off campus, students and Columbus’ homeless community already have such a close, interconnected relationship,” said the university official, “we’re looking forward to bringing that relationship to every single possible part of campus.”