Where To Have Sex At OSU Based On Your Zodiac Sign

author-pic at Ohio State University  

The internet is great, except when it gives you pop-up God-awful zodiac sign horoscopes. They’ll tell you your month will be shit and that you’ll never find love, or that you’ll get a promotion for a job you don’t have, but The Black Sheep has created an astrology article that is actually worth reading because it involves sexual intercourse, baby.

Aries (March 21-April 19) – The ‘Shoe:
If you identify as an Aries, then you’re in for a treat. Aries are known to be full of energy and extremely adventurous, so we put them in The Shoe. There’s not a better place on campus to exert some sexy energy and be adventurous than the football field. If Saturdays are for the boys, then Saturday nights can be for you and your booty call.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) – Dorm Showers:
Spring babies are most known for being loyal, patient, and sometimes lazy. These boring personality traits landed you guys in the community dorm showers. It’s only a short walk down the hall if you’re having a lazy day, and if you do get caught, at least it’s by people you’re familiar with.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) – The Wex:
Guided by impulse and imagination you and your significant other should be doing it on the stage at the Mershon Auditorium in the Wexner Center. You can easily put your imagination to work (with or without an audience) here. We wouldn’t be surprised if you decided to wear costumes for the event, either.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) – The Psych Building:
The psychology building is the perfect place for emotional Cancers. Make sure you guys take your boyfriends and girlfriends there to partake in some serious love-making. After all, what’s more emotional than that?

Leo (July 23- August 22) – Bull’s:
It’s not abnormal for a Leo to go a little crazy, what with being passionate and their love of spending time with friends. The Black Sheep decided these people are the ones who end up doing it on the dance floor at Bullwinkle’s over the weekend. Good luck Leos.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) – Thompson:
Hardworking and analytical were all we needed to hear before giving these guys the eleventh floor of Thompson. Everyone needs a study break, right? Sex is known to be great for relieving stress… among other things, so when finals season rolls around, we know where all you Virgos are going to be.

Libra (September 23-October 22) – The Oval:
Libras often tend to be diplomatic and social, which is why they’re breathing heavy on the Oval. The comfort of knowing peaceful protestors or your friends could walk by at any time really gets you going!

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) – The Ohio Union:
You guys like to be resourceful, and what better place to do that (or it) than in the Union? With many rooms to choose from, and information galore, you guys should be set for at least a couple of hours.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) – Your Roommate’s Bed:
Having a good sense of humor landed you guys in your roommates’ beds. You’re hoping that when you tell them, their sense of humor will be just as profound as yours. (Disclaimer: The Black Sheep is not responsible if you get kicked out.)

Capricorn (December 22- January 19) – Fisher:
Fisher College of Business is where you can catch all the Capricorns. These guys are great managers, and also great in bed. Whether it’s on the perfectly manicured lawn outside, or in the fun round building, you’re guaranteed a great time.

Aquarius (January 20- February 18) – An Oval Hammock:
With a love for fighting for causes, we put you guys in a hammock. It’s all about saving the trees, and it’s a perfect place for some intellectual conversation afterwards.

Pisces (February 19- March 20) – The Schott:
Known for being musically inclined, The Black Sheep went with a place known for holding great concerts: The Schott. We know it doubles as the basketball arena, but it’s concert history is enough to get you guys going.

No matter where you ended up doing the dirty, we fully support you. Don’t be afraid to get outside of your comfort zone and experiment with other places on campus. The Ohio State University has approximately 1,777 acres, so you’re bound to find a great place to get laid.