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7 Things to Buy With That New 15-Cent Minimum Wage Raise at OU

There’s been a minimum wage raise at OU, and now instead of $8.15, those working minimum wage jobs here are receiving a whopping 15 cents more! The Black Sheep has realized that many students have no idea what to do with this extra money, and since you’re basically rich now, we wanted to make sure that money is being put to good use! Here are 7 things to buy with the 15-cent raise in your paycheck.

7.) Hand warmers:
Everyone knows that one picks to come to OU so they can freeze their asses off between December and March. And if you are not a part of the demented group of people who love the cold weather, then you should put your 15-cent raise to good use and pick up a pair of toasty hand warmers. That is, if you actually care if your hands still work.

6.) Hangover relief:
If you didn’t come to OU for the insanely shitty weather, then you probably came for the drinking. And we all know that after a night of passing out at 7 p.m., a hangover and toilet are in your future. So, spend your 15-cent raise stocking up on hangover prevention and relief supplements. You’ll be thankful for the advice later.

5.) A JUUL:
So, it has become a new thing here at OU that you’re only cool if you own a JUUL. You are even put a pedestal above those on the football team and those in Greek life. Although it’s going to take a few of your 15-cent raise paychecks to save up for a JUUL, it’s definitely worth the wait. Forget frat boys saying, “Who do you know here?” It’s soon about to be, “Hey, can I hit that?”

4.) Double meat at Chipotle:
It’s something everyone wants, but can’t seem to buy. Forget Chipotle workers always skimping you on the best part of the meal—you just received a raise and now have the money to buy double. It’s crazy how 15 cents can get you what you actually deserve. Thanks Ohio, you made my Chipotle great again!

3.) Soft toilet paper:
Alright, if we are talking about things we actually deserve, it’s this. Soft toilet paper seems extinct in the town of Athens, Ohio. Hell, you’re lucky if you see any toilet paper at all! So, treat yourself with that 15-cent raise and go out and buy yourself a pack of nice, luscious toilet paper. Maybe you could even convince the bars to do the same…

2.) A CourseHero Account:
Every college student’s dream: answers to tests and homework assignments, and it’s just an extra $40 a month. Now really put that raise you did nothing to earn to good use and go get yourself in A on your paper! Sharing is caring, and with doing no more work than what you used to, you deserve all the extra care you can get.

1.) Tide Pods:
If you’re on the up and up at OU, then you know that the cool JUUL factor will be gone in a few months, and it’s Tide Pods that make you trendy now. Although they advertise that they’re not for eating, it is a known fact that if you swallow a Tide Pod, you boobs will grow two cup sizes or your dick will grow five inches. Insane!! Who knew it only took a 15 cent raise to get yourself a full glow up?

 

 

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