Spring semester has arrived at Ohio University, and students across campus are in mourning of their winter break. It’s always tough to go back to class, but have you ever considered just not going? Take advantage of the fresh snow on the ground and slide on down Jeff Hill. Here are eight items you could use to sled down Jeff Hill and never, ever stop.
8.) Class syllabus:
No one actually reads the syllabus, so why not put that paper to some good use. Tape all the papers together and create a mini sled! Besides, the professors always announce important things like tests in class anyway.
7.) Your roommate’s jacket:
You both met freshman year and have just kind of been living together the last three years without really liking each other. Why not use their jacket since your roommate never leaves the apartment? This would also be a good way to get back at that asshole for all the times they have eaten your leftover D.P. Dough. YEAH CHAD, EVERYONE KNOWS IT WAS YOU! And let’s be honest, you don’t even like Chad.
6.) Backdrop Magazine:
A couple of times a semester, you can count on students proudly handing out already outdated copies of Backdrop near College Gate. Someone that can barely get a quote right thinks you will be interested in their overused story about how to find fashion at used clothing stores. Why not take those thousands of unread copies of the magazine and make a kick-ass toboggan?
5.) An Issue of The Post:
This will be tricky since The Post has gone mostly digital, but it can be done. They still print a physical paper one a week. Look around campus early Thursday morning, and be sure to skip their reused “tattoos on athletes” story. Since so many copies go unread, you know that you will have an endless supplies of materials for sledding.
4.) Aquarium from The Pub:
This one would be a challenge—who said that sledding should be easy? Just ask your drunk friend to steal you an aquarium the next time they skip class to start day drinking. It is recommended that you at least rinse out the aquarium before trying to sled in it. No one wants to go sledding and end up smelling like Bud Light.
3.) Flyers advertising different student orgs:
The start of another semester means another round of student orgs begging people to show up to their meetings. Did you know they serve free pizza?! They also hang flyers around campus advertising that they meet at the SAME FREAKING TIME AS EVERY OTHER ORG! Take some of those flyers hanging in Bently and put them to some good use as your sled.
2.) Textbooks you were “required” to buy but never used:
If there was ever an angry reason to go sledding, this would be it. Buying those “required” $100 textbooks only to never use that textbook in class. And if you try to sell them back you only get $8.37 because there is a new version coming out. At that point you only have two choices. Either start a bonfire in the middle of Court Street, or use that book to go sledding.
1.) Your drained will to live:
You are back on a cold campus several hours away from your awesome dog that you love. You still have multiple years left before you can graduate. The only job you can find on campus is in the dining halls. Just go to the top of Jeff Hill, sit on your ass, and slowly slide down the pavement. Repeat until you feel better.
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