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We Can Tell If You’re Going to Hell Based on Your Major

We’ve all questioned whether we’ll see those pearly gates or instead be eternally damned to that ole pit of fire of and flames when we die . Luckily, The Black Sheep has been to hell and back and knows your fate. We can tell whether or not you will burn in hell simply based on what your major is here at OU.

Nursing:
This one is easy—of course you sweet angels are going to heaven. You will spend the rest of your lives sporting stupid low pony tails, ugly scrubs and non-slip sneakers for 12 hours a day with the only incentive that you get to help people. Your outfits are going to hell, but you, my friends, are going on up to heaven.

Journalism:
You guys are going to heaven! Your passion for justice and truth has allowed you eternal life. Low pay and dying newspapers didn’t stop you from fulfilling your dreams, and the hard work that got you into Scripps has gotten you into heaven, too! Except the god-forsaken strategic communication students—you’re all going burn in hell, obviously.

Education:
You believe children are the future, and that is so beautiful. Congrats on dedicating your life to helping others, because unless you plan on teaching algebra, you’re going to heaven!

Business:
You money-hungry suit wearing students are going to the perpetual flames. You thought you were going to heaven, didn’t you? It’s that type of arrogance that landed you in the pit, Kyle.

Sports administration:
As long as you don’t end up working for MSU, Baylor or the Yankees, you’re going to heaven!

Math Major:
Numbers are the work of the devil and you committed your life to studying them? You’ll have to teacher your wicked geometry to the demons, because you’re going to HELL!

Social Work:
All of you are going to heaven, obviously. Enjoy the afterlife, you deserve it.

Pre Law:
You’re going to Hell! You’re going to Hell! You’re ALL GOING TO HELL!

Engineering:
You can only go to heaven if you never condescendingly talked about hard it is being an engineering major and/or how much money you’re going to make … hahahaha you’re all going to Hell, aren’t you?

Athletic Training:
After years of wrapping ankles and stretching hammies you’re all going to heaven! You wrap those ankles you little angels.

Art Majors:
You’re going to hell for all those times you were mean to your mom in high school. She told you to wear less eyeliner and stop listening to that devil music, didn’t she? You should’ve listened. Now, you’re going to hell.

Unless otherwise listed, you’re probably going to hell. It’s hard to hear, and unfortunately, this list is 100 percent correct and there’s absolutely no way to change your fate. Sorry guys, The Black Sheep doesn’t make the rules—we just make the definitive lists of who gets to go to heaven and who gets eternal damnation.

 

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