If you’re looking for the perfect, traditional Christmas tree to display in your home this holiday season, you may have a hard time finding one on campus. A careful look at the tree selection at Ohio University has proven that this campus isn’t taking the happiest time of year very seriously. Seriously, the sad pieces of spindly wood they’re calling “Christmas trees” are absolutely disgraceful. But don’t take our word for it, see for yourself.
Here are ten of the saddest excuses for Christmas trees on campus that you’ll ever see. Try to get through the whole list without flinching!
10.) This Atrocity by Adams Hall:
Seriously, Ohio U? This is what we’re calling “Christmas” now? A feeble-looking carcass of a tree? You should be ashamed of yourselves. Just because this tree features some semi jolly-looking red berries doesn’t mean this tree encapsulates the spirit of Christmas. What are those little red berries anyway? Unless they’re sugarplums, get out of our face. You’re a disgrace.
9.) This Measly Thing on South Green:
Are we for real here? We would hardly even classify this thing as a tree, let alone a Christmas tree! You could fit a total of 4 ornaments on this thing – at most! It’s disrespectful to call this twig a symbol of this great and holy holiday. You really expect us to display this proudly in our homes, OU? Look – this tree can’t even stand up on its own! What, are we expected to hold its tiny little trunk up all season? No way! Not on Christmas!
8.) This Boastful Piece of Sacrilege Near Alden Library:
Come on Ohio University, who could possibly fit this enormous tree inside their home? Seriously, we can’t even fathom what you must have been thinking on this one. It’s way too big! We’d need a ladder just to decorate it, a cherry picker to get the star on top! What are you trying to prove, OU? Have we forgotten what Christmas is all about? Way too big!
7.) This Shameful Tree Outside Schoonover Center:
OK, so we said size doesn’t matter, but seriously, seriously, OU? Is this even a tree? It is way too small. Yeah, okay, it’s got the green and red going for it, but do you really think that makes it jolly? We don’t want to make any accusations but we might go as far as to suggest that this is a bush. A Christmas bush? Shameful. Utterly shameful.
6.) This Imposter by the Memorial Auditorium:
Don’t make me laugh, Ohio U! We can see right through your little charade. What, do you expect us to believe that this vine growth is actually tinsel? Are you trying to taint the holiday spirit? You should be ashamed. Do you really expect us to link hands with our loved ones around this thing and serenade it with the beautiful Christmas classic, O Christmas Tree? Absolutely not.
5.) This Embarrassment near Morton Hill:
We apologize if you find this image offensive, but we had to show you the severity of this situation. That’s right, Ohio University had the nerve to display a nearly naked Christmas tree on our beautiful campus. Blasphemy! And it gets worse: notice the green skirt at the bottom. Yeah, right, you Christmas imposter! We condemn you!
4.) This Cringe-Worthy Sight Outside Bryan Hall:
Dear Lord. This horribly misshapen and gnarled Christmas tree would surely scare away any holiday party guest. Actually, we’re pretty sure Santa would take one look at this sucker and head right back up the chimney. It is absolutely disgusting that OU would display this tree as a symbol for the holiday spirit. And look closely – there’s a live squirrel living in it! You can have it, squirrel, we’re not coming anywhere near this tree!
3.) This Insulting Tree:
We’re not unreasonable here at OU, we know that we live in the modern age of industry and technology. But come on, where has the tradition gone? We must admit, the lights are a nice touch, but an inorganic tree? So tacky.
2.) This Sad Excuse:
Sad! Just sad! If you’re not absolutely livid at this point, we can’t relate!
1.) This Dishonorable Mention:
You think throwing on some classic Christmas elements will fool us? Never! Ohio U, you should be ashamed of yourselves! This so-called Christmas tree brings shame, disrepute and dishonor upon our very name. How dare you besmirch the pride of our community on this joyous holiday with this mockery of a tree?
We warned you that these images might be offensive, but nothing could have prepared you for those vile, sorry excuses for Christmas trees. Have you no decency, Ohio University? Seriously, get it together. Do not settle for one of these trees this season, Bobcats. You deserve better!
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