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6 Eligible Cuddle Buddies for the Cold Athens Winter

Cuddling season is upon us, and time is running out fast to find that perfect cuddle buddy in your area this winter season.  Luckily, The Black Sheep has found six of the most eligible local singles available for cuddling this December.  

6.) Pat (@pnems14):
Pat is a friendly funny fellow with fantastic fluffy hair!  He always has snacks on hand but is willing to bring the cuddle to you “if you got a comfy bed.” If you’re a dog person, there’s a dog that stops by his house a lot named Willy. And Pat would love to include Willy in the cuddling sesh.

Pat noted that he’s willing to be the big spoon or the little spoon. In fact, he said that he is willing to do “whatever it takes.” Right now his go-to show is Big Mouth, so you know that he at least has a good sense of humor. He really emphasized that he has lots of snacks, and a guy with snacks is simply too hard to find these days.  You can’t go wrong here.

5.) Bailey (@bayytrobess):
This cute and cuddly redhead is very single, will laugh at memes, loves dogs, and has red hair. Bailey would love to watch the Grinch with you this winter! (Specifically the Jim Carrey version, she emphasized many times,) but only if you’re tall, have nice hair she can play with, and you aren’t too skinny. 

“I need something to keep me warm,” she said, “some meat on the bones.” 

So she’s a little picky, but she promises to laugh at all your jokes, and if you make The Office references you are her ideal cuddy buddy. She’s also willing to show you countless photos of her dog, Leo (pictured above). And we really mean countless: she has at least 2,000 pictures of Leo saved on her phone, and she will happily show you each and every one.

Did we mention she’s a ginger?

4.) Mykus (@Brayon_03):
Mykus is a genuinely kind person with a great heart and better teeth. He makes decent jokes and will try his best to keep you laughing while you are in his presence.  He told us that he has water, Gatorade and Pop Tarts … and he’s willing to share.

His go-to show is The Office and if you cuddle with him, he will do his best to not make things weird.  

Mykus also mentioned that he gives great massages, and we’re pretty sure he winked while he said it.

3.) Tyler (@Tyler_Murphy773):
Here’s a handsome young man who brings planking to the bedroom.  Looking for a complete bore? This is your guy! Tyler said that the best part about cuddling with him is that you’re more than welcome, or rather encouraged, to leave at any time.  He compares himself to a fallen oak tree, and says it will not be comfortable for anyone.

When asked whether he was more of a big spoon or a little spoon, he said “I’m more like the knife.”

“I cannot emphasize enough that I do not like to cuddle,” he said.

So if you really aren’t into cuddling, perhaps this is the guy you should sit with at an appropriate distance apart from and watch a little Dr. Phil.

2.) Pumpkin the Cat:

Pumpkin is a little spoon all the way.  He’s fluffy and warm, and only gives playful bites.  He can’t talk, but he’s a great listener.  His favorite show… is your favorite show.

Sometimes his claws will snag onto your sweater, but other than that, Pumpkin is possibly the perfect cuddle buddy. He doesn’t like to leave his home, but if you’re dedicated enough you can lay down right inside the court building for a cat nap (see what we did there?).

1.) A warm Big Mama’s Baby Buffalo Mama:
This adorable little burrito will make your mouth water every time, and is a great winter cuddle buddy. She doesn’t mind that you go out to the bars without her, just pick her up before you go home and enjoy some delicious cuddles.

This is the only Baby Mama you need in your life, and there’s no child support, only sweet buffalo sauce and next-day diarrhea.

“I don’t just want to cuddle, I want to be inside you,” she said.


Hey dummy, listen (AND SUBSCRIBE) to our podcast with Twitter’s @Rad_Milk!

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