We all lOUve OUr belOUved schOUl, but let’s face it: most things about this place don’t make any damn sense. Here are the top seven things we’ve lied to ourselves about and that you’re probably still trying to fool yourself into thinking about OU.
6.) That anyone cares if you steal food from the dining halls:
We all seem to operate under this assumption that if we get caught leaving Nelson with our pockets full of bagels, we’ll be sent to dining hall jail. The truth is, no one would notice or care if you brought a literal grocery cart in there and placed it under the frozen yogurt machine until it was full.
5.) You’ll get a scholarship:
It’s only a little concerning that the amount of academic scholarship money being awarded to each student each year is significantly lower than it was just a few years ago. This is fine and wonderful and definitely has not led to us starting a small counterfeit operation to pay for our tuition.
4.) That parking on campus is possible:
You’ll get 10 times more emails about parking than anything else. You can park in the green lots if it’s after 5:26 p.m., and you can park in the purple lots if you sacrifice a small animal to the parking gods and make a wish. All of this must be communicated to you daily via email, even if you’re a freshman without a car or license. This is very reasonable.
3.) The living space is enough:
It’s fine that the president gets two houses while you have to live in an 8.5 x 11 dorm room with six roommates and a colony of bats. Yes, we’re still bitter about this.
2.) That it’s not totally baffling when all those blue mats at Ping disappear at the same time:
There are approximately 700,000 thin blue mats available at Ping, and somehow, every now and then, every single one of them is suddenly gone. Everyone carries on as normal, doing their crunches and leg lifts on the dirty carpet instead, but we want to know where those mats go. There are way too many of them to clean all at once, so what happens to them?
1.) The Bobcats will pull out a W:
No OU sports team will ever win a close game in the last few seconds. The Bobcats have a long history of nail biters and an almost-as-long history of losing those nail biters by one point.