BREAKING: The Count from Sesame Street will be making an appearance at Number’s Fest, according to an unnamed source.
The Count is extremely well known for his star role on the hit TV show “Sesame Street starring Elmo.” He plays the character of The Count and he teaches young and dumb children to do simple math. For example, he has a lesson about how to count to three.
Many Ohio University college students grew up being taught by The Count and were shocked that he would be performing at Number’s Fest.
Junior Jon Levee exclaimed, “I was super excited for The Migos but now that The Count is coming I can’t contain my excitement. That guy taught me my very first math lesson and now I’m becoming an engineer. I really owe all of my success to him.”
VIP ticket prices have gone up significantly since The Count confirmed his appearance at Number’s Fest. His agent has made it clear that all pictures taken backstage must be shot from the waist up due to The Count’s insecurities about people finding out that he has a hand up his back side. He will sign autographs and sing songs such as “Count On Me” by Bruno Mars, “Counting Stars” by One Republic, and his newest single “Count how much money you’ve spent on tuition.”
Some sorority girl explained that she didn’t want to spend money for backstage passes for this year’s Number Fest because she got them last year for Fetty, but now that The Count is coming she’s ready to pay anything to meet him. She described him as her “childhood hero.”
There are rumors going around that The Count coming all the way to Athens to perform is just a major publicity stunt for him and his franchise. Producers are even looking to make it a sequel to The Muppets Movie. Some working titles are: “From ABC’s to A(nything) B(ut) C(lothes)’s, or something more mundane such as, “The Count travels to A-town.”
Number’s Fest is always a fun time of year and The Count’s presence will hopefully diversify the performers in future years. Instead of all rappers maybe Scooby Doo or Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle will perform next year.
An anonymous producer of Number’s Fest summed everything up the best: “Count your blessings because having The Count drop some beats this year is gonna be dope, lit, and we’ll probably never be able to afford him again.”
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