With finals right around the corner, panic is setting in for students at Ohio University. You’re running on about three hours of sleep, you have three term papers to write and an exam to study for, and your mom just called to tell you your dog died. You’re not having a good week. Aside from the anxiety attacks you have every three hours, you’re also starting to feel a bit queasy. The stress is just too much and all you want to do is vomit. Well, The Black Sheep is here to tell you the 10 best places to do that.
10.) On Your Essay:
You’ve been working hard to finish that essay. Your eyes have stayed glued to your laptop for the last 12 hours. You finally finish. Out of sheer excitement to finally be done; you open your mouth to scream in joy, but all that comes out is puke. All that work, now nothing but a big slimy mess. Brings new meaning to the joke “What’s black and white and red all over?” Sorry to tell you, but it’s your essay.
9.) On Your Mattress:
You don’t remember doing this; but you will in the morning!
8.) At Some Guy’s House You Don’t Know:
It’s been a long night out on Court Street. You’re ready to go home, but your friend says he wants to stop at a buddy’s apartment to say hi. You’re exhausted, but you tag along anyway. What was maybe a quarter mile walk feels like five. You finally arrive, you can barely walk, and at this point really not even sure what your own name is. You walk through the door, collapse, and let loose. Don’t worry, nobody’s judging you – except Chad. It is his house, after all.
7.) On the 7th Floor of Alden:This altitude’s got your tummy feeling some type of way.
6.) Right Next to a Trash Can on Court Street:
They’re literally everywhere on Court Street, yet somehow you still manage to miss.
5.) In a Bathroom at the Crystal:
Alright, you had one vodka-sprite too many, and now you can’t see straight. You stumble in six-inch heels to the restroom. Once inside, the smell of Sperry leather, cheap cologne and shame fill the room. It makes for a more than interesting aroma. One that makes you vomit.
4.) On a Squirrel:
The squirrels make us want to hurl.
3.) In Your Friend’s Dorm Room:
It’s Friday night, you’re a freshman, and you want to get drunk. The beer you get from the shady convenient store is warm, but you take what you can get. You and your friend scramble back to his dorm room faster than you can say Kamchatka. Since the beer is warm, you assume the best way to drink it is to chug it. No one wants to sip a warm beer, right? Wrong! The taste reminds you of old piss, and your eyes start to water. You can feel the carbonation in your stomach. No more than a minute later, you start projectile vomiting, all over your friend’s desk, textbooks, and comforter. Good thing Christmas is right around the corner!
2.) Walking Up Jeff Hill:
You make your trek up this dreaded hill. By the time you make it all the way to the top; you’re out of breath, soaked in sweat, and you’re pretty sure you peed a little. Why not top it all off by losing your lunch? Let’s just hope people don’t slip on it on their way up.
1.) The Sky:
Because where else would you throw up?
Hey dummy, listen (AND SUBSCRIBE) to our podcast!