As finals loom like a black cloud over our heads, we look to Edmon Low. Hordes of students will pour into every floor of the library in the coming weeks, aiming to stave off piss-poor grades. Of course, studying isn’t easy…and it sure doesn’t help that we’ve thought of 10 things to do in Edmon Low other than studying a semester’s worth of material.
10.) Spot Hunting:
You walk in and find yourself standing in Edmon Low’s foyer. Figuring out the best spot in the library to catch some sleep is no easy task…the game is on. Be it the Reading Room, Browsing Room, Study Room(s), Quiet Studies, Group Studies, bean bags or even a cozy spot on the floor somewhere, there’s a spot to satisfy the snooze. Although, you may need to step over the students who’ve already admitted defeat via comatose slumber.
Step right up into lines at every possible place, be it for a stapler, hole puncher, printer or even just water. There’s no end to the time you can waste while waiting. Be wary, as the line for printers is by far the most dangerous venue. Abandon all hope, ye students that enter there anytime around noon.
8.) Reserve a Study Room:
The best possible way to get away from it all is to reserve a study room all for yourself. Maximum time wasting can go down when you’re in a closed environment with whiteboard and TV beckoning any use other than studying.
Take a look at yourself. You’re at Edmon Low, studying and being semi-productive. You’re not at home watching Netflix, Hulu or whatever, because you’re a dedicated student at their library. Let’s be honest, you’re just going to stream that shit in some corner somewhere, aren’t you?
6.) 3D Printing:
Within the confines of Room 103 may be the most complex procrastination tool ever designed: the 3D printer. Want your own tiny Pistol Pete? Edmon Low’s got you covered. If only you could 3D print the calculus missing from your brain…
5.) Advertise Self-Pity:
Communicate your “I’m in the library” self-pity and woe with everyone you know, because everyone totally wants to see that, and will definitely waste their time and energy pressing the “like” button. Possibly do so in a selfie with the printer you named Milton, because you’re just that lonely.
4.) Check Out a Laptop:
If you don’t have a laptop, the magnificent Edmon Low has your back. The library is ready to provide you with a tool to beef up your procrastination skills. If you already have one, you need another. Imagine the possibilities. Silicon Valley AND Rick and Morty? It’s even more beautiful than you could’ve imagined.
3.) Stare Blankly:
Stare at anything that isn’t that horrific textbook you’ve never opened until now. Not sure how to cycle your stares? Try it in this order: into space, out any nearby window, your desk, the ceiling, the floor, your shoes, that bangin’ babe across the room, rinse and repeat…or, just repeat.
2.) Café Libro:
As the lines in your text start to blur, you may feel the need to run away from your life of study and become a monk, or something to that effect. Fear not! Café Libro is there with arms open wide to fill your gob with snacks and drinks galore. Although you may gain a little fulfillment, you certainly won’t be at peace.
1.) Attempt to Answer the Greatest Questions in Life:
As you gaze out the various windows (or into endlessly bland walls), you find yourself on the brink of knowing the answers to the greatest questions in life. What is life? Does Dennis Rodman give AF? How low can a GPA be to still graduate? Just as you’re on the cusp of enlightenment, someone decides to turn Quiet Study into a social forum.