Oklahoma State University’s campus has a plethora of reasons that factor into why you were late to class. Even if it’s a straight shot to class, just use one of these excuses anyway, because the worst part of going to OSU is the whole “school” part; especially in those 8 a.m. classes.
6.) The Flyers:
You know the area. It’s the most uncomfortable, palm-sweating, experience. This is a legitimate excuse, as the amount of weaving through a blob of people, trying not to make eye contact. If they bombard you, just agree with whatever philanthropy they are talking about so they think you’re already converted, or something.
5.) The Construction:
Hargis thinks the fences bordering off different sections of campus shouldn’t really add anytime to your walk, but it most definitely does, Mr. President.. When you’re already powerwalking your hiney to class and you learn to take advantage of every short cut, but like an M. Night Shyamalan twist, the university throws up a metal fence along with some creepy, catcalling construction workers that will leave you spinning. Once you get to class, don’t be surprised when your professor debates with you that you should have hurried up.
4.) The Wind Tunnels:
Who knew OSU had its very own tornados within building walkways? It’s absolute bullshit that you have to crawl your way to class after taping down your belongings to your back. The windy season here doesn’t fuck around, you turn a corner around Edmond Low and BA-BOOM your Cowboy ass is on the ground.
3.) The Dogs:
Whoever invented the OSU’s therapy dog group is probably just a professor who found an excuse to bring their dog to work. The therapy dogs are trained to give you that look, “We know you’re mentally unstable, it’s okay to break down right now at this exact moment in time.” Go ahead and send that email to your professor because these dogs innocently guilt you into petting them, so it’s the ultimate excuse.
2.) The Athletes:
Nothing like walking to class with some eyecandy to your left and right. Tall, muscular and cocky are the qualities needed to steal yo’ girl in .57 seconds. Sometimes you happen to accidently follow them to practice, class or home and that’s, well, that’s fine. If athletes weren’t meant to be a distraction then why would they be on campus?
1.) Classroom Building North:
Who had the great idea to place a building all the way in heart of Africa? Sure, if you live on campus you’re pretty close, but the poor Greeks have to hike their hungover ass on a March of the Penguins –style trot to this building. If it rains or snows, just forget it because having a building this far is just danger waiting to happen and that’s the best excuse you can give a professor.
If your professor is smart and can tell these excuses are fraud, use the excuse you got hit by a bus on Monroe because that legit happens. Whatever your real reason is for being late, tell your professor at least you showed up, be the stereotypical tattletale and quickly point out someone who is not there.
Something so bad, 12 beers later, is so, so good.